what a quote...

“Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered automatic weapons.”

~ General MacArthur

applications and the sarcastic wife...

After retiring, Guy goes to the government office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked him for his driver's license to verify his age and he realized he’d come without his wallet.

"I am very sorry," he says, "but I have to go home and come back later, for I have forgotten my wallet."

She said, "Unbutton your shirt."

Guy opened his shirt, revealing my curly silver hair.

"That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me," she declared, and she processed his application.

When Guy gets home, he excitedly told his wife about his experience, to which she replied "you should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too..."

that's why they call it practice...you keep doing it over and over and over again until you get it right...

An 18-year old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The

test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting and crying, the mother says, "Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!"

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with

grey hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, "Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life. Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami, and a $1,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000 bank account. However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do you suggest?"

Verclemt at this point, the mother, who had remained silent until now, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You'll try again, right?"

senior moments sometimes have their advantages

At 85 years of age, Wally married LuAnne, a lovely 25-year-old. Since her new

husband is so old, LuAnne decides that after their wedding she and Wally should

have separate bedrooms, because she is concerned that her new but aged husband

may over-exert himself if they spend the entire night together.

After the wedding festivities LuAnne prepares herself for bed and the expected

"knock" on the door. Sure enough the knock comes, the door opens and there is Wally,

her 85-year-old groom, ready for action. They unite as one. All goes well, Wally takes

leave of his bride, and she prepares to go to sleep.

After a few minutes, LuAnne hears another knock on her bedroom door, and

it's Wally. Again he is ready for more "action". Somewhat surprised, LuAnne

consents for more coupling. When the newlyweds are done, Wally kisses his bride,

bids her a fond goodnight and leaves.

She is set to go to sleep again, but, aha you guessed it, Wally is back again,

rapping on the door, and is as fresh as a 25-year-old, ready for more "action". And,

once again they enjoy each other. But as Wally gets set to leave again, his young bride

says to him, "I am thoroughly impressed that at your age you can perform so well and

so often. I have been with guys less than a third of your age that were only good once.

You are truly a great lover, Wally."

Wally, somewhat embarrassed, turns to LuAnne and says, "You mean I was here already?"

heres an strength training exercise you can try at home...baby steps...

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side.

With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer.

After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Repeat the previous weeks efforts.

Then try 50-lb potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (I'm at this level.)

After you feel confident at that level, start putting potatoes in each sack…

those darned insurance companies and HMO's...

The phone rings at the Sanders household, and the lady of the house answers, "Hello?"

"Mrs. Sanders, this is Doctor Jones at Saint Agnes Hospital Laboratory, stated the voice on the other line. "When your husband's doctor sent his biopsy to the lab last week, a biopsy from another Mr. Sanders arrived as well. We are now uncertain which one belongs to your

husband. Frankly, either way the results are not too good."

"What do you mean?" Mrs. Sanders asks nervously.

"Well, one of the specimens tested positive for Alzheimer's and the other one tested positive for HIV. We can't tell which is which."

"That's dreadful! Can you do the test again?" questioned Mrs. Sanders.

"Normally we can, but your insurance company will only pay for these expensive tests one time."

"Well, what am I supposed to do now?"

"The adjustors at your insurance company recommend that you drop your husband off somewhere in the middle of town. If he finds his way home...don't sleep with him..."

The Five-Minute Management Course...

Lesson 1:

A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower, when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next-door neighbor.

Before she says a word, Bob says, "I'll give you $800 to drop that towel."

After thinking for a moment, the woman drops her towel and stands naked in front of Bob, after a few seconds, Bob hands her $800 and leaves. The woman wraps back up in the towel and goes back upstairs. When she gets to the bathroom, her husband asks, "Who was that?"

"It was Bob the next door neighbor," she replies.

"Great," the husband says, "did he say anything about the $800 he owes me?"

Moral of the story:

If you share critical information pertaining to credit and risk with your shareholders in time, you may be in a position to prevent avoidable exposure.

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Lesson 2:

A priest offered a Nun a lift. She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg. The priest nearly had an accident. After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg. The nun said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand slide up her leg again. The nun once again said, "Father, remember Psalm 129?"

The priest apologized and said, "Sorry sister, but the flesh is weak."

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129. It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story:

If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

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Lesson 3:

A sales rep, an administration clerk, and the manager are walking to lunch when they find an antique oil lamp. They rub it and a Genie comes out. The Genie says, "I'll give each of you just one wish."

"Me first! Me first!" says the admin clerk. "I want to be in the Bahamas, driving a speedboat, without a care in the world."

"So be it," said the Genie. He raised his hands summoning a massive amount of smoke, a bright flash and poof - she's gone.

"Me next! Me next!" says the sales rep. "I want to be in Hawaii, relaxing on the beach with my personal masseuse, an endless supply of Pina Coladas and the love of my life!"

"So be it," said the Genie and in a puff of smoke he was gone.

"OK, you're up," the Genie says to the manager. "Make it quick, I have appointments."

The manager says, "It's simple, dude - I want those two back in the office after lunch..."

Moral of the story:

Always let your boss have the first say.

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Lesson 4

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting and relaxing, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle sitting there, and, feeling jealous, being a small scampering creature, asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle stared an eagle stare at the rabbit, and, since he wasnt hungry at the time and was really enjoying his leisure, answered him, "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story:

To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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Lesson 5

A turkey was chatting with a bull one day. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy."

"Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. They're packed with nutrients!"

"That's an idea," the turkey replied, and pecked at a lump of the bull's dung. He found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree! He was quite excited and slept dreaming more ambitious thoughts.

The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch, the next day the third. Finally after a fourth night, the turkey was proudly perched at the top of the tree.

"I'm king of the world!" he gobbled proudly!

All of a sudden out of the bush came a hunter. He heard the proud call and promptly spotted the turkey. Taking aim, he shot him out of the tree.

Moral of the story:

Bull crap might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there.

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Lesson 6

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground into a large field. While he was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on him. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, he began to realize how warm he was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy.

"I'm alive, I'm free!" sang the bird.

A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.

Morals of the story:

1.) Not everyone who craps on you is your enemy.

2.) Not everyone who gets you out of crap is your friend.

3.) And when you're in deep crap, it's best to keep your mouth shut!

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THUS ENDS THE FIVE MINUTE MANAGEMENT COURSE

can you imagine receiving communion from this guy...

He ain't heavy... Italy's metal brother

By Marie-Louise Gumuchian

Thu Jul 17, 8:05 PM ET

MILAN (Reuters) - Dressed in his traditional brown robe, sandals and twirling the rope around his waist, 62-year old Friar Cesare Bonizzi is no ordinary heavy metal rocker.

But as guitarists around him grind out heavy notes, the long-white-bearded Capuchin, a former missionary in Ivory Coast, has no qualms bobbing his head and shouting lyrics about alcohol, sex, tobacco and life in general into his microphone.

Describing himself as a "preacher-singer," Bonizzi has been singing for over a decade, and last month wowed heavy metal fans at Italy's "Gods of Metal" festival, where he performed with his band Fratello Metallo (Metal Brother) alongside groups such as Iron Maiden.

"About 14-15 years ago, I went to a Metallica concert and fell in love with heavy metal after I saw all the energy there," Bonizzi said after a rehearsal in a Milan recording studio. "I find (heavy metal) the most energetic, the most alive music."

A member of the Catholic Capuchin order in Milan, Bonizzi began singing heavy metal after having first started with what he calls "light music with slight rock influence."

This month punk label Tre Accordi Records, whose Web site offers titles including "Life Stinks of Human Beings" by The Valentines, released his second heavy metal album "Misteri," or mysteries, inspired by a group of southern Italian women who sang about Jesus' mother Mary.

Bonizzi, whose car even has a poster of his album and "preacher-singer" scrawled on the side, is not the only musical monk enjoying fame.

In Austria, Cistercian monks released an album of Gregorian chants on the same record label as Amy Winehouse and Eminem.

The monks were signed up by Universal Music -- beating more than 200 entries from around the world -- after they sent in a YouTube video in response to its advertisement for a choir.

Bonizzi has heard of them and compared heavy metal with Gregorian chant, one of the oldest known forms of written music.

"Gregorian has the same roots as (heavy metal)," he said.

A heavy metal version of the song about Mary features on his album. Bonizzi also sings about how alcohol can warm the heart but damage the liver if drunk in excess, as well as how important sex is to man but has to be done in the right way.

"I saw these 200 grandmothers singing and I told them 'Ladies, you will end up in heavy metal,"' he said referring to the Calabrian women. "My first (rock) CD was light because I mainly sing for grandmothers ... in fact I named the group then

'Metalluminium'. This one is stronger, fuller."

WORLD TOUR?

Bonizzi, who names bands such as rockers Megadeth and Dream Theater as favorites, also sings about God and faith but says he has no intention of converting listeners to Christianity.

"I never did it to preach, I did it because music is beautiful ... If I want to convert people, I simply want to convert them to life, to welcome life, to enjoy life," he said.

"I am religious and I am a priest but I am not doing this to convert people to Christ, to faith or the Church, but for them to try to understand life, to be able to enjoy it. Nothing more."

One of 10 children, Bonizzi grew up near the northern Italian town of Cremona. He worked as a hairdresser, welder and in a factory before a brief military stint and then joined the Capuchin order at age 29.

The friar, who performs about 100-150 concerts a year, says heavy metal fans have warmly welcomed him and he distances the music genre from Satanism.

"About 90 percent are very good, they accept (me), the other 10 percent are more extreme," he said.

"They say 'We don't want people from the Church.' There are those who profess to be Satanists but there are only two or three groups that explicitly claim to be so. I do not really know whether they really are, they claim to be."

Bonizzi sings in Italian and Latin, but "Misteri," his 18th CD, is being translated into English. So far, he only performs in Italy, but he says he has received invitations to put on shows in Japan and Brazil: "I would like to do a world tour."

Unsurprisingly, his singing has attracted much attention. At the "Gods of Metal" festival, fans were screaming his name even before he began performing.

"We do not understand what has happened. It's not as if we had done any publicity, the CD wasn't even out yet. I've sung three times at 'Gods of Metal' already," he said. "I've been doing this for 10 years, and it's only really now that it has taken off."

The friar, who was even given a "heavy metal rosary" by a non-believer fan, performs with three other guitarists and a drummer, who are much younger than him.

"At first I was a bit skeptical about this project because I thought it was weird to have a mix of heavy metal and a Capuchin friar," said 38 year-old guitarist Cesare Zanotti.

"But after two minutes with him, you forget he is a friar -- his age -- you forget everything and he becomes a member of the group. He gave me more energy than bandmates who are my age or younger are able to. When you play with him, there are smiles and a lot of energy which is fundamental for heavy metal."

The Vatican has not voiced an opinion on Bonizzi's singing but he says his superiors have not said anything negative to him about it. He says his fellow Capuchin friars accept what he does, although he does not play for them: "I could sing this (heavy metal), but they would say it's too loud."

(Editing by Keith Weir and Sara Ledwith)

ixnay on the omputerca....

A teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are
designated either masculine or feminine. 'House' for instance, is feminine - la
casa. 'Pencil,' however, is masculine - el lapiz. A student asked, 'What gender is
computer?'
Instead of giving an answer, the teacher split the class into two groups, male and
female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a
masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its
recommendation and the men's group decided that 'computer' was definitely feminine
(la computadora, because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is
incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later
retrieval; and --
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half
your paycheck on accessories for it.
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine (el
computador) because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the
problem; and
4. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little
longer, you could have gotten a better model.
Claro. The women won…

marital infidelity never felt so good.....

A wealthy couple was sitting in an upscale restaurant. Suddenly, a gorgeous
redhead approached the man., walked over to their table and gave him a big, wet kiss
and then walked away.
"And who was that?” asked the wife in a huff. "That's my mistress", the man
proudly replied.
“Fine!” snapped the wife. "That's it!, then I want a divorce!!!"
"Okay,” said the husband, "but you realize that if we do divorce, that means no
more trips to Paris in the spring and no more trips to Miami Beach in the winter. It
means no more Cadillac, no more maids, no more butlers, and it means we have to sell
our 32-room mansion in a depressed market. We'll both have to move out and live in
two smaller houses". The wife sat glowering, arms crossed and right then, a mutual
friend walked into the restaurant with a gorgeous blonde on his arm. "Who's that with
Jim?" asked the wife.
"That's his mistress", said the husband.
"Ours is prettier,” replied the wife.

being 1/4 scotch, I dont know whether to laugh or be angry...

A Scottish soldier in full dress marches into a pharmacy to speak to the chemist.
The Scot opens his sporran and pulls out a neatly folded cotton bandanna, unfolds it to
reveal a smaller silk square, which he also unfolds to reveal a condom. The condom has
a number of patches on it, which the chemist holds up, and eyes critically.
"How much to repair it?" the Scot asks the pharmacist. "Six pence," says the
pharmacist. “How much for a new one?"
"Ten pence," says the pharmacist.
The Scot folds the condom into the silk square and the cotton bandanna, places it
in his sporran and marches out the door, kilt swinging. A moment or two later the
pharmacist hears a great shout go up, followed by an even greater shout. The Scot
walks back into the pharmacy, and again speaks to the pharmacist.
"The regiment has taken a vote," says the Scot. "We'll have a new one."

not for the squeamish...but, still kinda funny...

A fleeing Taliban, desperate for water, was plodding through the Afghan desert
when he saw something far off in the distance, only to find a wizened old Jewish man at
a small stand selling ties. The Taliban demanded, "Do you have water?" The old man
replied, "I have no water, but would you like to buy a tie? They’re only $5."
The Taliban shouted, "Bastard Jew! All you want to do is make money! I do not
need an overpriced tie. I need water! Filthy Jew, I should kill you, but I must find water
first."
“OK," said the old Jew, "it doesn’t matter tif you don’t want to buy a tie and that
you hate me, I’ll show you that I am bigger than you. Continue over that hill to the east
for about a mile, and you’ll find a lovely restaurant with all the water and food you
need. Shalom."
Muttering, the Taliban staggered away over the hill but several hours later he
staggered back.
"Your brother won't let me in without a tie."

This really sucks....kinda...

Two nuns, Sister Catherine and Sister Helen, are traveling through Europe in
their car. They get to Transylvania, and are stopped at a traffic light. Suddenly, out of
nowhere, a tiny little Dracula jumps onto the hood of the car, and hisses at them
through the windshield. "Quick, quick!", shouts Sister Catherine. "What shall we do?"
"Turn the windshield wipers on -- that will rid us of the abomination", says Sister
Helen. Sister Catherine switches them on, knocking the diminutive Dracula about, but
he clings gamely on and continues hissing at the nuns. "'What shall I do now?" she
shouts.
"Switch on the windshield washer. I filled it up with Holy Water at the Vatican",
says Sister Helen. So Sister Catherine turns on the windshield washer and Dracula
screams as the water burns his skin, but he soldiers on and exererates his hissing.
"Now what?" shouts Sister Catherine. "Show him your cross", says Sister Helen.
"Now you're talking", says Sister Catherine.
And she opens the window and shouts, "Get the f*ck off the car!”

meet Rocky the Blue Jay...

We apparently have a friendly forest creature here where I work…

Meet ROCKY THE BLUE JAY!!!

He’s been hanging out at the smokers’ table, cackling with the co-workers while they enjoy their morning fix of nicotine and while they eat lunch (when the weather’s good – unlike today (its been raining here…)) He did a little dance for one co-worker and myself, and he apparently likes to beg for scraps whilst folks are eating. Most Blue Jays are mean and swoop on people and pets and can be incredible nuisances, but, this one’s against the grain. One co-worker reported he’d been eating cigarette butts, so perhaps, a possibility exists the lil guy’s strung out on tobacco. He’s addicted! He needs Nicoret or something….Here are some more pics of Rocky..

top 10 out of office reply e-mails...

1. I am currently out of the office at a job interview and will reply to you if I fail to get the position. Please be prepared for my mood.

2. You are receiving this automatic notification because I am out of the office. If I was in, chances are you wouldn't have received anything at all.

3. Sorry to have missed you, but I'm at the doctor's having my brain and heart removed so I can be promoted to our management team.

4. I will be unable to delete all the emails you send me until I return from vacation. Please be patient, and your mail will be deleted in the order it was received.

5. Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.

6. The email server is unable to verify your server connection. Your message has not been delivered. Please restart your computer and try sending again. (The beauty of this is that when you return, you can see who did this over and over and over...)

7. Thank you for your message, which has been added to a queuing system. You are currently in 352nd place, and can expect to receive a reply in approximately 19 weeks.

8. Hi, I'm thinking about what you've just sent me. Please wait by your PC for my response.

9. I've run away to join a different circus.

10. I will be out of the office for the next two weeks for medical reasons. When I return, please refer to me as 'Lucille' instead of Steve.

These are purported comments from kids in the U.K. concerning the sea, sea creatures, etc.. on homework assignments...

This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles...

Oysters' balls are called pearls...

A dolphin breaths through an arsehole on the top of its head...

Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She's not my friend no more...

Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers...

If you are surrounded by sea you are an island. If you don't have sea all around you, you are incontinent...

My uncle goes out in his boat with pots, and comes back with crabs...

When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes, when the wind didn't blow, the sailors would whistle to make the wind come...

Divers have to be safe whey they go under the water. Two divers can't go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. My brother said they would be better off eating beans...

I like mermaids. They are beautiful, and I like their shiny tails. How do mermaids get pregnant?

When you go swimming in the sea, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small…

On holiday my mum went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won't do it again because water shot up her fanny...

I'm not going to write about the sea. My baby brother is always screaming and being sick, my dad keeps shouting at my mum, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can't think what to write...

Excerpts from Beyonda News: http://www.wakeuplaughing.com

The good news this July 4th is that we don't need a revolution in this country. We've already had one. What is needed now is the American Evolution, where we the

people realize we are the leaders we've been waiting for and restore the all-important missing ingredient in government of, by and for the people -- the people. If fear has hijacked the American dream, we the people must higher-jack it. We must overgrow the fear-based state of emergency, and declare a love-based state of Emerge 'n See instead. We must emerge from our fearful state of separation and see we are all in this together.

Biology is now confirming what our spiritual teachers have been trying to get through our thick skulls for millennia: Life is not about survival of the fittest, but the thrival of the fittingest. Each of us is a remarkable community of 50 trillion cells, all working together in harmony. In the society beneath our skin, there is universal health care

and full employment, truly no cell left behind. Unlike most human nations, the ‘nations’ of cells known as organs cooperate for the benefit of the entire organism. You rarely if ever read about the liver invading the pancreas and laying claim to the Islets of Langerhans.

We declare our independence from the obsolete positions of left and right, and we come front and center to face the music and dance together. We see there are no sides, only angles ... and when seen from the right angle, we are all on the same side. We declare our independence from the notion that we are better than or less than

any other human being. Consider this: Each of us is totally unique, just like everyone else.

sounds of the earth, w/some pretty pictures...

Subject: sounds of the earth, w/some pretty pictures...

http://www.space.com/php/video/player.php?video_id=080627-earth-sounds

actual audio of the sounds the earth’s making. Must’ve been the chili…(grin!)

It must be the Legos and plethora of great hockey and tennis players...GO USA!!! we're apparently slacking in the happy department, so GET WITH IT!!!

Study: World Gets Happier

LiveScience Staff

LiveScience.com

Mon Jun 30, 1:16 PM ET

Despite the anxieties of these times, happiness has been on the rise around the world in recent years, a new survey finds.

The upbeat outlook is attributed to economic growth in previously poor countries, democratization of others, and rising social tolerance for women and minority groups.

"It's a surprising finding," said University of Michigan political scientist Ronald Inglehart, who headed up the survey. "It's widely believed that it's almost impossible to raise an entire country's happiness level."

Denmark is the happiest nation and Zimbabwe the the most glum, he found. (Zimbabwe's longtime ruler Robert Mugabe was sworn in as president for a sixth term Sunday after a widely discredited runoff in which he was the only candidate. Observers said the runoff was marred by violence and intimidation.)

The United States ranks 16th.

The results of the survey, going back an average of 17 years in 52 countries and involving 350,000 people, will be published in the July 2008 issue of the journal Perspectives on Psychological Science. Researchers have asked the same two questions over the years: "Taking all things together, would you say you are very happy, rather happy, not very happy, not at all happy?" And, "All things considered, how satisfied are you with your life as a whole these days?"

A Happiness Index created from the answers rose in 40 countries between 1981 and 2007, and it fell in the other 12.

Scientists had thought happiness is stable over time when looking at entire societies. "Most previous research suggests that people and nations are stuck on a 'hedonic treadmill,'" Inglehart said. "The belief has been that no matter what happens or what we do, basic happiness levels are stable and don't really change."

So Inglehart's team was surprised that happiness "rose substantially." They speculate reasons for the sunny outlooks include societal shifts in recent decades: Low-income countries such as India and China have experienced unprecedented rates of economic growth; dozens of medium-income countries have democratized; and there has been a sharp rise of gender equality and tolerance of ethnic minorities and gays and lesbians in developed societies.

Previous research has found that happiness is partly inherited and that money doesn't buy much of it.

Yet the new survey finds people of rich countries tend to be happier than those of poor countries. And controlling for economic factors, certain types of societies are much happier than others.

"The results clearly show that the happiest societies are those that allow people the freedom to choose how to live their lives," Inglehart said.

A survey released last week found one reason America doesn't top the list: Baby Boomers are generally miserable compared to other generations. Further, a public opinion poll released by the Pew Research Center in April found that 81 percent of Americans say they believe the country is on the "wrong track." The response is the most negative in the 25 years pollsters have asked the question.

The World Values Surveys, led by Inglehart, was funded by the National Science Foundation, the Swedish and Netherlands Foreign Ministries, and other institutions.

The Associated Press contributed to this report.

apparently the earth has its own mantra....

on the other hand...

Earth's Cries Recorded in Space

Robert Roy Britt

Senior Science Writer

SPACE.com

Tue Jul 1, 12:33 AM ET

Earth emits an ear-piercing series of chirps and whistles that could be heard by any aliens who might be listening, astronomers have discovered.

The sound is awful, a new recording from space reveals.

Scientists have known about the radiation since the 1970s. It is created high above the planet, where charged particles from the solar wind collide with Earth's magnetic field. It is related to the phenomenon that generates the colorful aurora, or Northern Lights.

The radio waves are blocked by the ionosphere, a charged layer atop our atmosphere, so they do not reach Earth. That's good, because the out-of-this-world radio waves are 10,000 times stronger than even the strongest military signal, the researchers said, and they would overwhelm all radio stations on the planet.

Theorists had long figured the radio waves, which were not well studied, oozed into space in an ever-widening cone, like light from a torch.

But new data from the European Space Agency's Cluster mission, a group of four high-flying satellites, reveals the bursts of radio waves head off to the cosmos in beam-like fashion, instead.

This means they're more detectable to anyone who might be listening.

The Auroral Kilometric Radiation (AKR), as it is called, is beamed out in a narrow plane, as if someone had put a mask over a torch and left a slit for the radiation to escape.

This flat beam could be detected by aliens who've figured this process out, the researchers say. The knowledge could also be used by Earth's astronomers to detect planets around other stars, if they can build a new radio telescope big enough for the search. They could also learn more about Jupiter and Saturn by studying AKR, which should emit from the auroral activity on those worlds, too.

"Whenever you have aurora, you get AKR," said Robert Mutel, a University of Iowa researcher involved in the work.

The AKR bursts -- Mutel and colleagues studied 12,000 of them -- originate in spots the size of a large city a few thousand miles above Earth and above the region where the Northern Lights form.

"We can now determine exactly where the emission is coming from," Mutel said.

Our planet is also known to hum, a mysterious low-frequency sound thought to be caused by the churning ocean or the roiling atmosphere.