MEN DO REMEMBER ANNIVERSARIES...

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her dressing gown and goes downstairs to look for him.

She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a hot cup of coffee in front of him. He appears to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of his coffee.

"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?"

The husband looks up from his coffee, "I am just remembering when we first met 20 years ago and started dating. You were only 16. Do you remember back then?" he says solemnly.

The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring, so sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies.

The husband pauses. The words were not coming easily for him. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?"

"Yes, I remember!" said the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him.

The husband continues, "Do you remember when he shoved the shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?'"

"I remember that too," she replies softly.

He wipes another tear from his cheek and says, "I would have been released today..."

98 year old Ms Joyce...

Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. "Miss Joyce" the minister responded, "Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," she replied, smiling sweetly."

"Miss Joyce, that is very unusual," he responded. "How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," she replied.

"Oh, Miss Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?"

The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said into the microphone, "I outlived the bitches..."