Next time DRINK WATER!! Wait…there is no "next time"...Hiccups lead to two deathsWed Jan 25, 9:44 AM ET
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city of Barranquilla said on Tuesday.
After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police said.
The incident took place on Sunday night while the two were having drinks with neighbors.
Galvan started to hiccup and Vargas, who works as a security guard, said he would use the home remedy for hiccups of scaring him. He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Galvan and it accidentally went off, witnesses told local television.
"They were drinking but they were aware of what was going on," one witness said.
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According to the commercials, that AXE body spray is supposed to do the same thing…could've saved himself a lotta trouble…Man says 'spell' won him harem of 10 wivesWed Jan 25, 9:45 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A middle-aged Tokyo man found to be living with 10 younger women said he attracted them by reciting an incantation that came to him in a dream.
The 57-year-old man's unusual living arrangements came to light when another woman complained to police that he had threatened her after she refused to join his harem, Kyodo news agency said Wednesday.
"I had a dream that told me I would become attractive to women if I recited a particular incantation," it quoted the man as saying.
A rapid series of weddings and divorces left the man with a large group of ex-wives, mostly in their 20s and 30s, who shared his surname and continued to live with him.
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I can see it now - who knows what goes on behind the lectern. Or heck, just do what John and Yoko did….
Sex calms nerves before public speaking - studyWed Jan 25, 2:55 PM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Forget pretending you are talking to one person or concentrating on a single point in the audience -- having sex is good way to calm nerves before giving a speech or presentation.
But Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley in Scotland, said it has to be full sexual intercourse to get the best results.
He studied nearly 50 men and women who recorded their sexual activities for two weeks and analysed its impact on their blood pressure levels when under acute stress, such as when giving a speech.
Brody discovered that the volunteers who had sexual intercourse were the least stressed and had blood pressure levels that returned to normal more quickly than people who engaged in other types of sex.
But people who had abstained from sex had the highest blood pressure response to stress.
Even after taking into account stress due to work or other factors, the range of responses to stress were best explained by sexual behaviour.
"The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief afforded by orgasm but rather, endure for at least a week," Brody told New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.
He believes that the release of the so-called "pair bonding" hormone oxytocin might explain the calming effect.
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Here's something else that will promote heavy breathing, lots of sweat and various words that cant be said in gentle conversation if it happened to you..
Ohio Man Floored by Gas Bill for $8,095Tue Jan 24, 4:39 PM ET
From the Zanesville, OH Times Recorder,
http://www.zanesvilletimesrecorder.com/ZANESVILLE, Ohio (AP) - Lewis Miller joked with his son as he opened his gas bill that the amount likely would give him a heart attack. Then, he saw that The Energy Cooperative of Newark had billed him $8,095 for the first nine days of service on his new account for his apartment.
"I thought I was just going to lay down and die," Miller said. He then had an anxious weekend because he received the bill Friday and couldn't get a hold of the gas company until Monday.
When Miller reached the Energy Cooperative, the error was corrected.
Brian Byrd, a spokesman for the utility, said the company apologized to Miller for its mistake.
"These things are very rare, but they can happen," Byrd said.
The company suspects that a contractor mixed up or misread the numbers while taking a reading of Miller's meter. The information is downloaded into a computer that checks for billing errors by looking at what a customer was charged in the past. Since Miller's account was new, there was nothing to compare it to, Byrd said.
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We make the WEIRD NEWS wires again…don’t ya love livin' here???Police: Man Prefers 'Church Bandit'Wed Jan 25, 6:41 PM ET
from: St. Louis Post-Dispatch,
http://www.stltoday.com/CLAYTON, Mo. (AP) - Frank Zdanowski Jr. didn't like being known as the "Church Burglar," police said. He preferred the "Church Bandit."
Either way, Zdanowski, 38, of St. Louis, faces charges for allegedly committing more than 15 church burglaries over the past few months. He faces 26 charges, 23 in the city and three in St. Louis County.
Police described Zdanowski as a career burglar with several prior felony convictions. He allegedly told detectives he targeted churches late at night to avoid confrontation.
"He didn't want to run into a pastor on the property," St. Louis County detective Ron Keilholz said.
Another potential reason: Zdanowski told detectives he is a Catholic.
Most of the items taken were cash, electronic gear and other items the suspect could easily trade for crack cocaine, police said.
Investigators said Zdanowski tried to use a credit card taken Jan. 14 from Bayless Baptist Church in south St. Louis County. A surveillance picture from a Schnucks grocery store led to his arrest on Monday.
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This may explain the One Shoe phenomena you always see on the side of the highway. Don’t you always wonder what happened to the other one???Left without a leg to stand on...
Tue Jan 24, 11:58 AM ET
PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) - An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a state trooper, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said on Monday.
The incident on Friday began when the trooper stopped a sport utility vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.
The trooper at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.
The senior Kackstetter charged at the arresting officer several times before the trooper knocked him to the ground, according to the police report.
"Passenger removed a prosthetic leg and threw it at trooper, hitting trooper in chest. Passenger removed second leg, threw it at trooper but missed," the report said.
The father and son face multiple charges including assault on a public safety officer.
"It got to be quite a dangerous situation. I think the officer used a lot of discretion and restraint in the amount of force that he used in this situation," said Ed Caleb, Klamath County district attorney.
A lawyer for the Kackstetters could not be immediately reached for comment.
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There's more than one time that I could have been arrested for "attacking" a few toilets, esp. after a night of White Castles…
Frenchman fined for attacking urinal artwork
Tue Jan 24, 11:56 AM ET
PARIS (Reuters) - A Frenchman who attacked and damaged "Fountain," a urinal declared a work of art by Dada pioneer Marcel Duchamp, was ordered Tuesday to pay a fine of 214,000 euros ($262,700).
A Paris court also gave Pierre Pinoncelli, 77, a three-month suspended sentence for taking a hammer to the absurdist artwork, the second time he has attacked it since 1993. The attack last month left the ceramic urinal slightly cracked.
Duchamp was a leader of the Dada movement, an avant garde "anti-art" school of the early 20th century that mocked conventional standards, and "Fountain," made in 1917 -- is considered one of the most influential artworks of its kind.
"This was a wink at Dadaism," Pinoncelli told the court in his defense. "I wanted to pay homage to the Dada spirit."
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Don’t buzz too many times, or ELSE!!
Whatever you do, don't call for the nurse..Mon Jan 23, 9:04 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients' nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.
The 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.
The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.
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If he's super intelligent, what do ya call him? Smarty Pants or Smarty Skirt???? AAAAAHHH! The mind boggles!!!
Male Student Wins Fight to Wear Skirt
Wed Jan 25, 5:51 PM ET
HASBROUCK HEIGHTS, N.J. (AP) - A male high school student can wear a skirt to school after the American Civil Liberties Union reached an agreement with school officials.
The ACLU announced the deal Tuesday. It will allow a Hasbrouck Heights School senior to wear a skirt to protest the school's no-shorts policy.
The district's dress code bans shorts between Oct. 1 and April 15, but allows skirts, a policy 17-year-old Michael Coviello believes is discriminatory.
"I'm happy to be able to wear skirts again to bring attention to the fact that the ban on shorts doesn't make sense," Coviello said in a statement.
The Hasbrouck Heights superintendent, Joseph C. Luongo, did not return telephone messages left Tuesday seeking comment.
Coviello first wore a costume-style dress but high school officials told him to go home and change. The district's superintendent then advised the Coviello to purchase everyday dresses and skirts at a retail store, which Coviello did, the ACLU said.
But after a few days, he was sent home with a note from his principal saying if he wore a dress, kilt or skirt, he could no longer attend school.
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Just read it….
Poor Work Performance Blamed on InternetTue Jan 24, 7:17 AM ET
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP)- About 20 percent of government staff in one Malaysian state use the Internet for personal activities including downloading pornography, music and games, the national news agency reported Tuesday.
This was one of the main causes of poor work performance in Johor state, Bernama said quoting a top state official, Norsiah Harun, adding that large file downloads also considerably slowed the state government's computer system.
Norsiah said the government viewed the matter seriously and would enforce the relevant regulations soon. She reminded all department heads to be firm in tackling the problem and to remind their staff of their responsibilities, Bernama said.
"Government staff are also reminded not to take too long during morning and afternoon breaks," she said.
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The Lord Giveth, the Lord Taketh away…well, the ex-Lord in this case…Maine Deadbeats Pay Back Strip-Search CashTue Jan 24, 2:58 PM ET
AUGUSTA, Maine (AP) - Nearly 300 people who were awarded more than $450,000 in a class action lawsuit over jailhouse strip searches handed the money back to the state to pay child support and related debts.
Former prisoners who believed they were illegally strip searched between 1996 and 2004 at the York County Jail were awarded $3.3 million in the 1,350-member, class-action settlement.
State officials discovered that 284 plaintiffs owed child support, and working with the state attorney general's office and U.S. District Court, recovered $463,000.
Of the total, $240,000 went to the children's families, and the rest went to state and federal governments to help repay the cost of public assistance during the time that support payments were not available, state officials said.
In the York County strip-search case, plaintiffs objected to a policy of making all prisoners, even those facing misdemeanor charges, disrobe. Jail officials said the searches were to uncover hidden weapons or other contraband.
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What's that? Little Timmy's fallen in the well? Oh, you just want some kibble…
Lassie Reportedly Helps Rescue Farmer, 90Mon Jan 23, 11:10 PM ET
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - In a case of life imitating fiction, a 13-month-old cattle dog named "Lassie" helped to rescue its injured master after he fell from a horse in eastern Australia, a media report said Tuesday.
George Crowther, a 90-year-old farmer from Queensland state, broke his pelvis when he was pitched from a bucking horse and his foot became caught in the reins, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported.
Crowther's dog, Lassie, came to the rescue, snuggling in next to Crowther to keep him warm.
When darkness fell, Crowther's wife came searching in the woods with a flashlight, but couldn't hear his feeble cries.
"The dog ran to her and she said 'Where's George?" Crowther told the ABC. "And she (Lassie) toddled off, leading my wife to where I was. And the rest, of course, is history."
Crowther was recovering in hospital Tuesday after having 37 screws inserted into his pelvis and hip.
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They should have left the door open for him…IN MID FLIGHT!! People..I swear.. Hope they checked him for shots. And was he wearing his license? And people wonder why I insist on driving everywhere. I plan on driving to Europe next year - once they get that bridge finished. The only bridge that'll ever exist is if we have another Ice Age….
Man Jumps From Moving Jetliner Onto TarmacTue Jan 24, 12:29 AM ET
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) - An airline passenger bit a fellow traveler Monday, then jumped out of a jetliner as it was moving to take off, authorities said. He was later subdued with a stun gun.
The man was taken to a hospital from the Fort Lauderdale airport, the Broward County sheriff's office said. It was unclear whether he was injured. The other passenger suffered minor injuries from the bite.
The Continental Airlines flight had been delayed for about 30 minutes, and as the Boeing 737 began to taxi, the man started yelling to get off, the sheriff's office said.
He ran to the front of the plane and banged on windows and the cockpit door, authorities said. As passengers and crew members tried to restrain him, he bit a passenger.
When the pilot depressurized the cabin, the man opened a door, jumped to the tarmac and ran toward the terminal. Deputies said they zapped him with a stun gun after he resisted arrest.
Troy Rigby, 28, will be charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass, battery, resisting arrest with violence and battery on a law enforcement officer, in addition to an outstanding warrant for marijuana possession, the sheriff's office said.
The plane, set to fly from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to Newark, N.J., was carrying 116 passengers and five crew members. It was rescheduled for later Monday, a Continental spokesman said.
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Speaking of being bitten…
Grandmother Watching TV Bitten by a SnakeMon Jan 23, 10:29 PM ET
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Talk about unwanted house guests. A 78-year-old Australian woman was rushed to a hospital after she was bitten by a 5-foot snake — one of the world's deadliest varieties — while watching television in her suburban home, a newspaper reported Monday.
Valerie Makin, a great-grandmother from the southern city of Melbourne, was sitting on her couch knitting and watching television when she saw the unwanted visitor out of the corner of her eye, the Melbourne Sun newspaper reported on its online edition.
As she tried to flick it away, it sank its fangs into her left arm, the paper said.
"She never even raised her voice," said Makin's daughter, Janice Milinkovic, who was in her bedroom when her mother came in and said she had been bitten.
"I got off the bed and I saw it slither off the couch and that's when I knew she wasn't (joking)," she added.
Makin was rushed to a nearby hospital, but she did not suffer any poisoning because the snake's fangs only punctured the skin and the venom did not enter her bloodstream, the newspaper said.
The creature — known as a brown snake — crawled under the couch where it remained until a pest control inspector removed it from the house, the report said.
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Commuting in their skivvies..without their Dungarees, just their BVD's…I guess you would really have to watch who's got what on your Hanes at that point in time…
8 Nabbed for No Pants Subway Ride in N.Y.
Sun Jan 22, 11:08 PM ET
NEW YORK (AP) - From the waist up, they looked like perfectly normal commuters. That wasn't good enough for police.
Eight pranksters who dropped their pants and showed their underwear on the subway on Sunday were taken into custody and issued summonses for disorderly conduct. All were ultimately released, said Improv Everywhere, the group that organized the stunt.
The group said more than 160 riders participated in the fifth annual No Pants Subway Ride before police halted their No. 6 train about 5 p.m.
Charlie Todd, who founded Improv Everywhere in 2001, said it's not his group's intent to offend. He said he wants to create scenes of chaos and joy in public places around New York.
"It was our intent to make people laugh," he said. "We try to give people a great story to tell."
Todd, a teacher and performer, said the police overreacted when they turned a harmless event into something that inconvenienced lots of subway riders. A judge will determine whether those issued summonses will be punished.
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Lettuce not judge, lest we be judged….the wilting attacks of the prosecution in the case took the freshnes off the defense, however they crisply rebuffed the plaintiff in the case, got to the core of the argument, and were complimented for having a head for legal matters….
Woman Cited in Pa. for Flinging LettuceMon Jan 23, 4:15 PM ET
EASTON, Pa. - A woman fined $173.50 for throwing salad greens out of her car says, lettuce not be too quick to judge her.
Dawn Higgins, 47, was cited Oct. 18 while parked outside a Wal-Mart in Lower Nazareth Township in eastern Pennsylvania.
"Lettuce comes from the ground, therefore it can go back into the ground," she said. "It's biodegradable. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong."
Higgins said she took her daughters and a friend to the store, and they stopped at a McDonald's along the way. She said she pulled into a parking space to finish her meal but decided not to eat the half-dozen or so leaves atop her salad.
After failing to appear in court Dec. 22, Higgins discovered she had been convicted in absentia and owed the state $173.50. She has appealed to Northampton County Court, where she said she will call her children and their friend as witnesses.
She also plans to bring along a salad to show leaves to the judge.
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That teacher must have season tickets…
Teen Says Teacher Made Him Sit on FloorMon Jan 23, 4:23 PM ET
BEAVER FALLS, Pa. (AP) - A 17-year-old high school student said he was humiliated when a teacher made him sit on the floor during a midterm exam in his ethnicity class — for wearing a Denver Broncos jersey.
The teacher, John Kelly, forced Joshua Vannoy to sit on the floor and take the test Friday — two days before the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Broncos 34-17 in the AFC championship game. Kelly also made other students throw crumpled up paper at Vannoy, whom he called a "stinking Denver fan," Vannoy told The Associated Press on Monday.
Kelly said Vannoy, a junior at Beaver Area Senior High School, just didn't get the joke.
"If he felt uncomfortable, then that's a lesson; that's what (the class) is designed to do," Kelly told The Denver Post. "It was silly fun. I can't believe he was upset."
Vannoy was wearing a No. 7 Broncos jersey on Friday, because he is a fan of John Elway, the Broncos' retired Hall of Fame quarterback.
Vannoy said he was so unnerved he left at least 20 questions blank on the 60-question test, and just wants out of Kelly's class because he's afraid the teacher won't treat him fairly now that the story reached the media.
"I'm going to have to deal with him for two more nine weeks (school quarters) and he's going to want revenge somehow," Vannoy said Monday. "I took the test. I'm shaking. I'm furious. I didn't know what to do."
Kelly, who wore a Ben Roethlisberger jersey Friday, and his principal, Thomas Karczewski, didn't immediately return messages left on their school voice mail Monday.
Big Beaver Falls Area School District Superintendent Donna Nugent said she was aware of the situation, but said confidentiality rules prevent her from commenting specifically.
"We'll take whatever action we need to in order for the student to feel comfortable," Nugent said.
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So much for honesty with politicians…he's been known to be rabid about a few things, why not in reality...
Pooch Bites the Hand That Governs It
Mon Jan 23, 10:30 PM ET
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) - During a news conference in which Gov. George Pataki sought to take a bite out of crime, a dog bite got the upper hand. At first the ex-hooper joked that his bandaged right hand was the result of a reverse dunk. Under further questioning he allowed that he had tried to break up a fight between his dog and another — apparently unsuccessfully.
He downplayed the injury and didn't get an anti-rabies shot after the weekend incident at his family home in Garrison, Putnam County.
"If I start foaming at the mouth, you'll know I should have had it," Pataki said.
What happened to the suspect?
"Twenty-five years to life," Pataki quipped.
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WARNING!!! Not for the squeamish -- this is happening waaay to much fellas! You gotta keep the sharpies from the harpies, else this happens…sounds like she was pissed off one too many times…
Miffed Wife Reportedly Snips Hubby's PenisMon Jan 23, 11:12 PM ET
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) - A Cambodian man received 25 stitches to his penis after his wife attempted to sever the organ with scissors after a domestic dispute, a newspaper reported Tuesday.
Khay Kaing, 40, returned home early Saturday after a night of drinking and karaoke with friends in Kampong Cham province, 50 miles northeast of the capital Phnom Penh, the Koh Santepheap, or Island of Peace, newspaper reported.
An argument ensued and he allegedly slapped his wife. As the man got into bed his wife came at him with the scissors and attempted to cut off his penis, the newspaper reported, not detailing whether she succeeded.
Kang Sakhan, the provincial police chief, confirmed the incident but did not provide details.
The newspaper said after being attacked, the man walked some 1,640 feet to a relative's home to seek help and was later taken to a village doctor who administered the sutures.
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Bet ya didn’t know what was in that expensive perfume, did ya???
Australian whale vomit find worth a fortuneTue Jan 24, 1:27 AM ET
SYDNEY (AFP) - A family on the south Australian coast found a piece of whale vomit on the beach that is tipped to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, national radio reported.
The chunk of ambergris, which is sought after by perfume manufacturers, weighed 14.75 kilograms (32 pounds) and is worth about 20 US dollars per gram, ABC radio said -- making a total of 295,000 dollars.
Fisherman Leon Wright and his wife Loralee found the ambergris, which sperm whales are believed to vomit to rid their intestines of hard objects such as squid beaks, on a remote beach near Streaky Bay.
Loralee was reluctant to accept her husband's suggestion that they throw the mysterious, solid, fatty object into the back of her four-wheel-drive vehicle, so they left it there, said local marine expert Ken Jury.
Two weeks later, travelling in Leon's vehicle, they discovered that it was still there and took it home, Jury, who is advising the family, told AFP.
Ambergris, which floats after being vomited by the whales, is a rare find and has to a large extent been replaced in the fragrance industry by synthetics.
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Its getting too easy...
Malaysian senator fined for divorcing wife by SMSFri Jan 20, 12:01 AM ET
KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) - A Malaysian Muslim senator has been fined for divorcing his wife by sending her an SMS text message and leaving a voicemail on her mobile phone.
The senator, Kamaruddin Ambok, 52, was fined 550 ringgit (147 dollars) Thursday by a Islamic or sharia court for attempting to divorce his wife Mahani Hussain by phone in October 2001, instead of declaring his intentions in court.
The maximum punishment for the offence is 1,000 ringgit or six months' jail, reports said.
"When you marry someone, you go through all the ... processes," said the sharia judge, Zainor Rashid Hassin, referring to ethnic Malay marriage rituals.
"Now, why can't you divorce someone properly as well," he was quoted as saying in the Star daily.
In Malaysian Islamic law, a man can divorce his wife with verbal pronouncements known as talaq in a sharia court, said reports.
The ruling comes amidst heated debate over controversial Islamic family legislation that rights groups have said undermine women's rights within a marriage.
The prosecuting sharia officer, Mohamad Yusof Sulaiman, had asked for a heavier sentence, saying it would better highlight the seriousness of the offence.
"Cases such as this are happening often these days," he said.
"Even NGOs have been critical of Islamic laws lately, especially on matrimonial matters which are said to favour certain parties."
Kamaruddin said he regretted his actions and asked for light punishment and a reduction in the sentence, said reports.
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And to close this edition…Lets do the time warp agaaaainnnn (in church) oh lets do the time warrrpp agaaainnnn…it’s a jump to the left….and a jump to the right…hands on your hips and squeeze them tight….I wanna go to this church!!
British vicar offers Rocky Horror service for Goths
Thu Jan 19, 12:11 PM ET
LONDON (AFP) - A British vicar has created his own version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to lure the faithful back into the fold -- a new twice-monthly church service for the Goths in his parish, complete with rock music and compulsory black garments.
The idea is the brainchild of Martin Ramshaw, associate Anglican vicar and resident Goth at the very traditionally named church of St Edward King and Martyr in the very well-heeled eastern university city of Cambridge.
"The service seeks to find new ways of making the life of the church meaningful to people from alternative, and particularly Goth, communities," Ramshaw explains on the church's website,
http://www.blogger.com/www.st-edwards-cam.org.uk "I am a Goth myself and realized that quite a lot of people I knew were spiritual rather than religious and were desperately looking for a spiritual home."
Held on alternate Tuesday evenings, the new 45-minute service is candle-lit -- though more in the style of English band Flesh Eating Foundation than that of Cambridge's world-famous Christmas Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols.
The dozen or so worshippers that the service regularly draws usually pile into a nearby nightclub after prayers for a Goth event aptly named the Calling, Ramshaw explains on his dedicated website,
http://www.blogger.com/www.thegotheucharist.org.uk.
The Gothic movement, which is generally keener on heavy metal than Hail Marys, is also suspected of dabbling in Satanism. But those acolytes who do venture through the hallowed doors of 15th-century St Edwards need not feel daunted even if -- God forbid -- they forget their all-black Gothic garb: Ramshaw is producing a special t-shirt for the service.
"It will be a long-sleeved black t-shirt with a quote from St John's Gospol's (sic) farewell discourse printed on the front and the back. The front will say simply 'If the world hates you...' and the back will say 'remember it hated me first'."
"I thought this could be one way of encouraging people into church that wasn't Bible bashing and would show people that Christianity can provide hope and support," the 34-year-old vicar adds on the church website.
Ramshaw, who started up the Gothic service early this month, is the latest member of the clergy in Britain to come up with a novel attempt to stem the haemorrage of churchgoers across the country.
A Methodist church near Oxford, the other most prestigious university city in England, is trying to attract younger worshippers by hosting a singles club, concerts for teenage rock bands and screenings of films such as "Back to the Future" and "The Mummy".
