StLouieMoe's Blog about Anything

Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Five Signs It's Time To Find A New Job

Five Signs It's Time to Find a New Job
Monday, January 30, 2006
By Suze Orman

Building a satisfying career requires a commitment to playing offense rather than defense. Take control of your job destiny and make the moves that will put you in a position to actually enjoy your work. Simply waiting for things to work out, or sticking with a bad situation -- playing defense -- is a breach of self-respect.

You deserve to enjoy your job, to feel appreciated and challenged by it, and to be fairly compensated for your work. If that's not how things are playing out at the moment, it's time to take responsibility for your future.

Now I'm well aware of how daunting it can be to contemplate changing your job, let alone changing careers. And it can take time. But you can't afford to just suck it up and stay in a job or industry that bores or frustrates you. Professional dissatisfaction is bound to seep into your personal life: You -- and your loved ones -- shouldn't be resigned to having you spend the majority of your time unhappy.

Deep inside, you probably already know if you need a new job. But let me provide the final nudge: If any of the following scenarios ring true, it's time to make a change.

1. Friday Is Your Favorite Day
If all you can think of Monday morning is how many hours until Friday, quitting time, you've got a problem. You don't have to love every minute of every working day, nor every colleague all the time -- let's be real -- but if your overriding approach to the work week is dread, don't stay where you are. Especially since a normal work week has seemingly morphed from 40 hours to 50 or 60, spending all that time unhappy is unacceptable.

2. You're Bored
If you still have another 10, 20, or 30 years of work ahead of you, coasting is not an option. What seems "easy" now is actually very dangerous. Rather than growing in your career, you will stagnate. You won't get the promotions -- and raises -- you want, and you won't acquire the skills to keep professionally growing.

That will make you incredibly vulnerable. An unmotivated and lazy worker is the easiest to let go. And if you're forced out of a job where you have underachieved, it's going to be that much harder to impress future employers.

3. Stress Is Your Middle Name
Yes, every job comes with stress, but it's up to you to measure the magnitude of what your work takes out of you. If you feel incredible pressure throughout your time at the office, take your work home with you, and then can't sleep because you're wound up so tightly, you need to rethink what you're doing to yourself.

I'm all for working hard, and meeting project deadlines will always require extending yourself from time to time, but if you're constantly in work mode, you're selling yourself short. Where's your life?

4. You're Underappreciated (and Overworked)
You deserve respect. It's that simple. If you have a boss that doesn't value your work, or your company doesn't treat its employees well, it's probably time to move on. Of course, it always makes sense to try and turn around a bad situation. Talk to your boss about how you can better work together, or look for other opportunities in the company. But please don't play martyr and suffer through a work atmosphere that makes you feel "less than."

5. You Keep Saying, "If I Could Do It All Over, I Would Be a ...."
Don't sell out your dreams so fast. If you're constantly thinking about doing something else with your work life, you owe it to yourself to see if you can make a go of it.

I'm not suggesting you quit your job tomorrow and go after your dream. Switching careers can take years of planning, both in terms of scoping out the new work and preparing for the financial changes the switch can entail. But it can be done. The career you start with is not necessarily the one you must end with. I tell you this from experience: Until the age of 29, I was a waitress earning less than $5,000 a year.

While I'm all for chasing dreams, you're not to use the going-back-to-school excuse to get out of a job you dislike. Going back to school is not a career plan. Scoping out a job or industry that truly interests you, and then researching what it will take to both start and succeed in that field is a career plan. If, after all that research, it's clear that you need to go back to school, then go for it. But simply using education as a shelter from the work world is a lousy move.

Don't Wait Till You Hit Breaking Point
Recognizing you need a new job is the easy part. What's hard -- and often paralyzing for so many -- is how to move forward. Being stuck seems to have become a career stage. Let's get you moving forward in your career.

The most important step is to take responsibility for your future. Whether you're the victim of a horrid boss, office politics, or lousy industry prospects is irrelevant. The only thing that matters is what you're going to do to change your situation.

You also don't want to wait until you're pushed to your breaking point. No one can make good decisions when they're angry and under pressure.

The idea here is to strategize and plan. Think about where you want to be one year or three years from now. Let your boss know your career goals -- don't assume he or she can read your mind. Make an appointment to talk about what work you need to do and skills you need to acquire to put you in a position for a promotion. Check in every month or so to discuss your progress.

If your boss isn't interested in your career progress but you like the company, scope out other opportunities at the organization. Because you're being proactive and thinking about your future, you have the luxury of networking and investigating over months. A division you really want to work with may not have a job for you today, but if they know you're interested, you may get a call a few months down the line.

Looking before you really need to is even more important if you'll be searching among new companies that have no idea who you are. It's going to take time. So please get started looking for a job now if you want to make a move within the next six months.

It's your job to make your career work for you.

Monday, January 30, 2006

Controversial Material Abounds....

WARNING! Not for the squeamish and definitely not PC, but hey, its damn funny
Names of Potential sequels to Brokeback Mountain.....
"How The West Was Hung"
"A Fistful Of Donnie"
"Doc's Holiday With Billy The Kid"
"Very Raw Hide"
"Stick 'Em Up!"
"The Magnificent Seven…Inches"
"I Broke My Back Mounting Him"
"I Hate The Saloon, (But I Love The Salon)"
"Bone- Nanza"
"Don't Mess With Tex' Ass"
"Ridin', Ropin' And Redecoratin"
"How The Marlboro Man Got Weaned Off Cigarettes"
"Home On The Ranger"
"Six Shooters And The Mess They Made Shooting"
"Oklahomo"
"Rooster Cockburn"
"Little Bathhouse On The Prairie"
"Prances With Wolves"
"Clint East's Wood"
"John And Wayne"
"Lassoed More Often Than A Steer"
"Jesse James And His Frank"
"7 Angry…Inches"
"The Wild Brunch"
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"A drowning man is not troubled by rain." ~ Persian Proverb
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In the Irony can be pretty ironic sometimes dept....
"In the one of the earliest documented uses of irony in Western Europe, the first Christian martyr St. Stephen, after being stoned to death, became the patron saint of stonemasons and headaches." ~ Phil's Phunny Phacts
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"Whoever called it necking was a poor judge of anatomy. " ~ Groucho Marx
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A SHORT POEM - alright its a limerick, ok???
A real lonely midget named Ray,
Was desperate in the worst way,
Found a doll on the shelf,
And he pleasured himself;
There was shrimp on the Barbie that day.
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Leftovers from Christmas

I know Christmas was last month this time, but -- these are cute and have been drifting around in the inbox, and well, thought I would share...
Kids Versions of Christmas Carols
Deck the Halls with Buddy Holly
We three kings of porridge and tar
On the first day of Christmas my tulip gave to me
Later on we'll perspire, as we dream by the fire.
He's makin' a list, chicken and rice.
Noel, Noel, Barney's the king of Israel.
With the jelly toast proclaim
Olive, the other reindeer
Frosty the Snowman is a ferret elf, I say
Sleep in heavenly peas
In the meadow we can build a snowman, then pretend that he is sparse and brown
Oh, what fun it is to ride with one horse, soap and hay
O come, froggy faithful
You'll tell Carol, "Be a skunk, I require"
Good tidings we bring to you and your kid
You'll go down in Listerine
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SANDRA CLAUS?
Reasons why Santa is really a woman, like Pope Joan…
- Men can't pack a bag.
- Men would rather be dead than caught wearing red velvet.
- Men would feel their masculinity is threatened having to be seen with all those elves.
- Men don't answer their mail.
- Men would refuse to have their paunch described even in jest as a "bowlful of jelly."
- Men aren't interested in stockings unless somebody's wearing them.
- The "HoHoHo" thing would seriously inhibit their ability to pick up women.
- Finally, being responsible for Christmas would require a commitment.
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HOLIDAY PICK ME UPS…
"Elf Pick-up Lines" from Bill Coombs:
Nice view from down here!
Has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful knees?
You'd look great in a Raggedy Ann wig.
I'm a magical being. Take off your bra.
That's quite a set of ornaments you've got there.
We don't see many "happenin' ladies" north of the Arctic Circle.
Just because a guy wears tights and pointy slippers doesn't mean he's gay.
I taught Santa everything he knows and I can get you off the naughty list!
Hey babe, I'm free on Christmas Eve and I've got the keys to the sleigh tonight.
Sure I used to be a lawn ornament for Brad Pitt, but now I have certain needs that can't be satisfied by working on toys.
I get a thimbleful of tequila in me and I turn into a wild man
You know what they say about guys with big ears -- not everything about me is tiny!
I'm not Elmo, but don't stop tickling.
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Christmas Greetings for the Psychologically Challenged:
1. Schizophrenia -- Do You Hear What I Hear?
2. Multiple Personality Disorder --- We Three Queens Disoriented Are
3. Amnesia -- I Think I Was Home for Christmas
4. Narcissistic -- Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
5. Manic -- Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
6. Paranoid -- Santa Claus is Coming' to Get Me
7. Borderline Personality Disorder -- Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire
8. Full Personality Disorder -- You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll tell You Why
9. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder -- Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
10. Agoraphobia -- I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day (But Wouldn't Leave My House)
11. Senile Dementia -- Walking in a Winter Wonderland (Miles From My House in My Slippers and Robe)
12. Oppositional Defiant Disorder -- I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus So I Burned Down the House
13. Social Anxiety Disorder -- Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas (While I Sit Here and Hyperventilate)

One Wish Genie

A woman rubbed a bottle and out popped a genie. The amazed woman asked if she got three wishes. The genie said, "Nope, sorry, three-wish genies are a storybook myth. I'm a one-wish genie. So... what'll it be?"
The woman did not hesitate. "I want peace in the Middle East," she said. "See this map? I want these countries to stop fighting with each other and I want all the Arabs to love the Jews and Americans and vice-versa. It will bring about world peace and harmony."
The genie looked at the map and exclaimed, "Lady, be reasonable. I don't think it can be done. These countries have been at war for thousands of years and I'm out of shape after being in a bottle for five hundred years. Make another wish and please be reasonable."
The woman thought for a minute and said, "Well, I've never been able to find the right man. You know - one that's considerate and fun, likes to cook and help with the house cleaning, is great in bed, and gets along with my family, doesn't watch sports all the time, and is faithful. That is what I wish for...a good man."
The genie let out a sigh and said, "Let me see the map again."

Wisdom??? About alcohol....

"Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink I feel shame. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered.

Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."
~ Jack Handy
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"I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day. "
~Frank Sinatra
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"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."
~ Henny Youngman
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"24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not."
~ Stephen Wright
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"When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk, we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin. When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
get drunk and go to heaven!"
~ Brian O'Rourke
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"Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
~ Benjamin Franklin
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"Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza."
~ Dave Barry
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To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
~ Dave Howell
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One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm. Here's how it went:
"Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

Similar to a Steven Wright joke, but, hey, he probably stole it too...

A man boarded an airplane and took his seat. As he settled in, he glanced up and saw the most beautiful woman boarding the plane. He soon realized she was heading straight towards his seat. As fate would have it, she took the seat right beside his. Eager to strike up a conversation he blurted out, "Business trip or pleasure?"

She turned, smiled, and said, "Business. I'm going to the annual Nymphomaniacs of America Convention in Chicago."
He swallowed hard. Here was the most gorgeous woman he had ever seen sitting next to him, and she was going to a meeting of nymphomaniacs. Struggling to maintain his composure, he calmly asked, "What's your business role at this convention?"

"Lecturer," she responded. "I use information that I have learned from my personal experiences to debunk some of the popular myths about sexuality." "Really?" he said. "And what kinds of myths are there?"

"Well, she explained, "one popular myth is that African-American men are the most well-endowed of all men, when in fact it is the Native American Indian who is most likely to possess that trait. Another popular myth is that Frenchmen are the best lovers, when actually it is the men of Jewish descent who are the best. I have also discovered that the lover with absolutely the best stamina is the Southern Redneck."

Suddenly the woman became a little uncomfortable and blushed. "I'm sorry," she said. "I shouldn't really be Discussing all of this with you. I don't even know your name."

"Tonto," the man said. "Tonto Goldstein, but my friends all call me Bubba.

Friday, January 27, 2006

Old ladies and used cars


It was a small town and the patrolman was making his evening rounds.  As he was checking a used car lot, he came upon two little old ladies sitting in a used car.  He stopped and asked, "Why are you ladies sitting there in this car?  You trying to steal it?"

"Heavens no," one spinster said, "we bought it."
"Then why don't you drive it away?" he asks.
"We can't drive," the other spinster responds.
Curiosity grips him, "Then why did you buy it?"

"We were told that if we bought a Used car here we'd get screwed - so we're just waiting…"

10 thoughts to ponder during 2006

Ten Thoughts to Ponder during 2006, from Little Andy Rooney:

 10 - Life is sexually transmitted.

 9 - Good health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

 8 - Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich.

 7 - Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the Internet and they won't bother you for weeks.

 6 - Some people are like a Slinky.....not really good for anything, but you still can't help but smile when you shove them down the stairs.

 5 - Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.

 4 - All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.

 3 - Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty cents?

2 - In the 60s, people took acid to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.

AND THE NUMBER 1 THOUGHT FOR 2006: We know exactly where one cow with mad-cow-disease is located among the millions and millions of cows in America but we haven't got a clue as to where thousands of illegal immigrants and terrorists are located. Maybe we should put the Department of Agriculture in charge of immigration.


  

Wednesday, January 25, 2006

Stuff in commeration of National Compliments Day - January 25th - Thanks for being you, you're so good at it...

Next time DRINK WATER!! Wait…there is no "next time"...
Hiccups lead to two deaths
Wed Jan 25, 9:44 AM ET
BOGOTA, Colombia (Reuters) - A Colombian man accidentally shot his nephew to death while trying to cure his hiccups by pointing a revolver at him to scare him, police in the Caribbean port city of Barranquilla said on Tuesday.
After shooting 21-year-old university student David Galvan in the neck, his uncle, Rafael Vargas, 35, was so distraught he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide, police said.
The incident took place on Sunday night while the two were having drinks with neighbors.
Galvan started to hiccup and Vargas, who works as a security guard, said he would use the home remedy for hiccups of scaring him. He pulled out his gun, pointed it at Galvan and it accidentally went off, witnesses told local television.
"They were drinking but they were aware of what was going on," one witness said.
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According to the commercials, that AXE body spray is supposed to do the same thing…could've saved himself a lotta trouble…
Man says 'spell' won him harem of 10 wives
Wed Jan 25, 9:45 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A middle-aged Tokyo man found to be living with 10 younger women said he attracted them by reciting an incantation that came to him in a dream.
The 57-year-old man's unusual living arrangements came to light when another woman complained to police that he had threatened her after she refused to join his harem, Kyodo news agency said Wednesday.
"I had a dream that told me I would become attractive to women if I recited a particular incantation," it quoted the man as saying.
A rapid series of weddings and divorces left the man with a large group of ex-wives, mostly in their 20s and 30s, who shared his surname and continued to live with him.
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I can see it now - who knows what goes on behind the lectern. Or heck, just do what John and Yoko did….
Sex calms nerves before public speaking - study
Wed Jan 25, 2:55 PM ET
LONDON (Reuters) - Forget pretending you are talking to one person or concentrating on a single point in the audience -- having sex is good way to calm nerves before giving a speech or presentation.
But Stuart Brody, a psychologist at the University of Paisley in Scotland, said it has to be full sexual intercourse to get the best results.
He studied nearly 50 men and women who recorded their sexual activities for two weeks and analysed its impact on their blood pressure levels when under acute stress, such as when giving a speech.
Brody discovered that the volunteers who had sexual intercourse were the least stressed and had blood pressure levels that returned to normal more quickly than people who engaged in other types of sex.
But people who had abstained from sex had the highest blood pressure response to stress.
Even after taking into account stress due to work or other factors, the range of responses to stress were best explained by sexual behaviour.
"The effects are not attributable simply to the short-term relief afforded by orgasm but rather, endure for at least a week," Brody told New Scientist magazine said on Wednesday.
He believes that the release of the so-called "pair bonding" hormone oxytocin might explain the calming effect.
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Here's something else that will promote heavy breathing, lots of sweat and various words that cant be said in gentle conversation if it happened to you..
Ohio Man Floored by Gas Bill for $8,095
Tue Jan 24, 4:39 PM ET
From the Zanesville, OH Times Recorder, http://www.zanesvilletimesrecorder.com/
ZANESVILLE, Ohio (AP) - Lewis Miller joked with his son as he opened his gas bill that the amount likely would give him a heart attack. Then, he saw that The Energy Cooperative of Newark had billed him $8,095 for the first nine days of service on his new account for his apartment.
"I thought I was just going to lay down and die," Miller said. He then had an anxious weekend because he received the bill Friday and couldn't get a hold of the gas company until Monday.
When Miller reached the Energy Cooperative, the error was corrected.
Brian Byrd, a spokesman for the utility, said the company apologized to Miller for its mistake.
"These things are very rare, but they can happen," Byrd said.
The company suspects that a contractor mixed up or misread the numbers while taking a reading of Miller's meter. The information is downloaded into a computer that checks for billing errors by looking at what a customer was charged in the past. Since Miller's account was new, there was nothing to compare it to, Byrd said.
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We make the WEIRD NEWS wires again…don’t ya love livin' here???
Police: Man Prefers 'Church Bandit'
Wed Jan 25, 6:41 PM ET
from: St. Louis Post-Dispatch, http://www.stltoday.com/
CLAYTON, Mo. (AP) - Frank Zdanowski Jr. didn't like being known as the "Church Burglar," police said. He preferred the "Church Bandit."
Either way, Zdanowski, 38, of St. Louis, faces charges for allegedly committing more than 15 church burglaries over the past few months. He faces 26 charges, 23 in the city and three in St. Louis County.
Police described Zdanowski as a career burglar with several prior felony convictions. He allegedly told detectives he targeted churches late at night to avoid confrontation.
"He didn't want to run into a pastor on the property," St. Louis County detective Ron Keilholz said.
Another potential reason: Zdanowski told detectives he is a Catholic.
Most of the items taken were cash, electronic gear and other items the suspect could easily trade for crack cocaine, police said.
Investigators said Zdanowski tried to use a credit card taken Jan. 14 from Bayless Baptist Church in south St. Louis County. A surveillance picture from a Schnucks grocery store led to his arrest on Monday.
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This may explain the One Shoe phenomena you always see on the side of the highway. Don’t you always wonder what happened to the other one???
Left without a leg to stand on...
Tue Jan 24, 11:58 AM ET
PORTLAND, Oregon (Reuters) - An Oregon man hurled both of his prosthetic legs at a state trooper, striking him with one, after his son was arrested on suspicion of drunken driving, police said on Monday.
The incident on Friday began when the trooper stopped a sport utility vehicle going the wrong way on a highway in southern Oregon.
The trooper at first detained only the driver, Adam Kackstetter, 26, after he became aggressive. But then his father, Joel Kackstetter, 53, a passenger in the vehicle, grew hostile, a police spokesman said.
The senior Kackstetter charged at the arresting officer several times before the trooper knocked him to the ground, according to the police report.
"Passenger removed a prosthetic leg and threw it at trooper, hitting trooper in chest. Passenger removed second leg, threw it at trooper but missed," the report said.
The father and son face multiple charges including assault on a public safety officer.
"It got to be quite a dangerous situation. I think the officer used a lot of discretion and restraint in the amount of force that he used in this situation," said Ed Caleb, Klamath County district attorney.
A lawyer for the Kackstetters could not be immediately reached for comment.
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There's more than one time that I could have been arrested for "attacking" a few toilets, esp. after a night of White Castles…
Frenchman fined for attacking urinal artwork
Tue Jan 24, 11:56 AM ET
PARIS (Reuters) - A Frenchman who attacked and damaged "Fountain," a urinal declared a work of art by Dada pioneer Marcel Duchamp, was ordered Tuesday to pay a fine of 214,000 euros ($262,700).
A Paris court also gave Pierre Pinoncelli, 77, a three-month suspended sentence for taking a hammer to the absurdist artwork, the second time he has attacked it since 1993. The attack last month left the ceramic urinal slightly cracked.
Duchamp was a leader of the Dada movement, an avant garde "anti-art" school of the early 20th century that mocked conventional standards, and "Fountain," made in 1917 -- is considered one of the most influential artworks of its kind.
"This was a wink at Dadaism," Pinoncelli told the court in his defense. "I wanted to pay homage to the Dada spirit."
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Don’t buzz too many times, or ELSE!!
Whatever you do, don't call for the nurse..
Mon Jan 23, 9:04 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese nurse who tried to relieve her work stress by tearing off patients' nails was sentenced Monday to three years and eight months in prison.
The 32-year-old Japanese woman, who worked at a hospital in the ancient capital of Kyoto, tore off the fingernails and toenails of six female patients in September and October 2004. The patients were all immobile after strokes or other illnesses.
The Kyoto District Court said the woman had committed the cruel acts to relieve stress she was under from extra work forced on her by her supervisors.
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If he's super intelligent, what do ya call him? Smarty Pants or Smarty Skirt???? AAAAAHHH! The mind boggles!!!
Male Student Wins Fight to Wear Skirt
Wed Jan 25, 5:51 PM ET
HASBROUCK HEIGHTS, N.J. (AP) - A male high school student can wear a skirt to school after the American Civil Liberties Union reached an agreement with school officials.
The ACLU announced the deal Tuesday. It will allow a Hasbrouck Heights School senior to wear a skirt to protest the school's no-shorts policy.
The district's dress code bans shorts between Oct. 1 and April 15, but allows skirts, a policy 17-year-old Michael Coviello believes is discriminatory.
"I'm happy to be able to wear skirts again to bring attention to the fact that the ban on shorts doesn't make sense," Coviello said in a statement.
The Hasbrouck Heights superintendent, Joseph C. Luongo, did not return telephone messages left Tuesday seeking comment.
Coviello first wore a costume-style dress but high school officials told him to go home and change. The district's superintendent then advised the Coviello to purchase everyday dresses and skirts at a retail store, which Coviello did, the ACLU said.
But after a few days, he was sent home with a note from his principal saying if he wore a dress, kilt or skirt, he could no longer attend school.
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Just read it….
Poor Work Performance Blamed on Internet
Tue Jan 24, 7:17 AM ET
KUALA LUMPUR, Malaysia (AP)- About 20 percent of government staff in one Malaysian state use the Internet for personal activities including downloading pornography, music and games, the national news agency reported Tuesday.
This was one of the main causes of poor work performance in Johor state, Bernama said quoting a top state official, Norsiah Harun, adding that large file downloads also considerably slowed the state government's computer system.
Norsiah said the government viewed the matter seriously and would enforce the relevant regulations soon. She reminded all department heads to be firm in tackling the problem and to remind their staff of their responsibilities, Bernama said.
"Government staff are also reminded not to take too long during morning and afternoon breaks," she said.
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The Lord Giveth, the Lord Taketh away…well, the ex-Lord in this case…
Maine Deadbeats Pay Back Strip-Search Cash
Tue Jan 24, 2:58 PM ET
AUGUSTA, Maine (AP) - Nearly 300 people who were awarded more than $450,000 in a class action lawsuit over jailhouse strip searches handed the money back to the state to pay child support and related debts.
Former prisoners who believed they were illegally strip searched between 1996 and 2004 at the York County Jail were awarded $3.3 million in the 1,350-member, class-action settlement.
State officials discovered that 284 plaintiffs owed child support, and working with the state attorney general's office and U.S. District Court, recovered $463,000.
Of the total, $240,000 went to the children's families, and the rest went to state and federal governments to help repay the cost of public assistance during the time that support payments were not available, state officials said.
In the York County strip-search case, plaintiffs objected to a policy of making all prisoners, even those facing misdemeanor charges, disrobe. Jail officials said the searches were to uncover hidden weapons or other contraband.
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What's that? Little Timmy's fallen in the well? Oh, you just want some kibble…
Lassie Reportedly Helps Rescue Farmer, 90
Mon Jan 23, 11:10 PM ET
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - In a case of life imitating fiction, a 13-month-old cattle dog named "Lassie" helped to rescue its injured master after he fell from a horse in eastern Australia, a media report said Tuesday.
George Crowther, a 90-year-old farmer from Queensland state, broke his pelvis when he was pitched from a bucking horse and his foot became caught in the reins, the Australian Broadcasting Corp. reported.
Crowther's dog, Lassie, came to the rescue, snuggling in next to Crowther to keep him warm.
When darkness fell, Crowther's wife came searching in the woods with a flashlight, but couldn't hear his feeble cries.
"The dog ran to her and she said 'Where's George?" Crowther told the ABC. "And she (Lassie) toddled off, leading my wife to where I was. And the rest, of course, is history."
Crowther was recovering in hospital Tuesday after having 37 screws inserted into his pelvis and hip.
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They should have left the door open for him…IN MID FLIGHT!! People..I swear.. Hope they checked him for shots. And was he wearing his license? And people wonder why I insist on driving everywhere. I plan on driving to Europe next year - once they get that bridge finished. The only bridge that'll ever exist is if we have another Ice Age….
Man Jumps From Moving Jetliner Onto Tarmac
Tue Jan 24, 12:29 AM ET
FORT LAUDERDALE, Fla. (AP) - An airline passenger bit a fellow traveler Monday, then jumped out of a jetliner as it was moving to take off, authorities said. He was later subdued with a stun gun.
The man was taken to a hospital from the Fort Lauderdale airport, the Broward County sheriff's office said. It was unclear whether he was injured. The other passenger suffered minor injuries from the bite.
The Continental Airlines flight had been delayed for about 30 minutes, and as the Boeing 737 began to taxi, the man started yelling to get off, the sheriff's office said.
He ran to the front of the plane and banged on windows and the cockpit door, authorities said. As passengers and crew members tried to restrain him, he bit a passenger.
When the pilot depressurized the cabin, the man opened a door, jumped to the tarmac and ran toward the terminal. Deputies said they zapped him with a stun gun after he resisted arrest.
Troy Rigby, 28, will be charged with criminal mischief, criminal trespass, battery, resisting arrest with violence and battery on a law enforcement officer, in addition to an outstanding warrant for marijuana possession, the sheriff's office said.
The plane, set to fly from Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport to Newark, N.J., was carrying 116 passengers and five crew members. It was rescheduled for later Monday, a Continental spokesman said.
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Speaking of being bitten…
Grandmother Watching TV Bitten by a Snake
Mon Jan 23, 10:29 PM ET
SYDNEY, Australia (AP) - Talk about unwanted house guests. A 78-year-old Australian woman was rushed to a hospital after she was bitten by a 5-foot snake — one of the world's deadliest varieties — while watching television in her suburban home, a newspaper reported Monday.
Valerie Makin, a great-grandmother from the southern city of Melbourne, was sitting on her couch knitting and watching television when she saw the unwanted visitor out of the corner of her eye, the Melbourne Sun newspaper reported on its online edition.
As she tried to flick it away, it sank its fangs into her left arm, the paper said.
"She never even raised her voice," said Makin's daughter, Janice Milinkovic, who was in her bedroom when her mother came in and said she had been bitten.
"I got off the bed and I saw it slither off the couch and that's when I knew she wasn't (joking)," she added.
Makin was rushed to a nearby hospital, but she did not suffer any poisoning because the snake's fangs only punctured the skin and the venom did not enter her bloodstream, the newspaper said.
The creature — known as a brown snake — crawled under the couch where it remained until a pest control inspector removed it from the house, the report said.
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Commuting in their skivvies..without their Dungarees, just their BVD's…I guess you would really have to watch who's got what on your Hanes at that point in time…
8 Nabbed for No Pants Subway Ride in N.Y.
Sun Jan 22, 11:08 PM ET
NEW YORK (AP) - From the waist up, they looked like perfectly normal commuters. That wasn't good enough for police.
Eight pranksters who dropped their pants and showed their underwear on the subway on Sunday were taken into custody and issued summonses for disorderly conduct. All were ultimately released, said Improv Everywhere, the group that organized the stunt.
The group said more than 160 riders participated in the fifth annual No Pants Subway Ride before police halted their No. 6 train about 5 p.m.
Charlie Todd, who founded Improv Everywhere in 2001, said it's not his group's intent to offend. He said he wants to create scenes of chaos and joy in public places around New York.
"It was our intent to make people laugh," he said. "We try to give people a great story to tell."
Todd, a teacher and performer, said the police overreacted when they turned a harmless event into something that inconvenienced lots of subway riders. A judge will determine whether those issued summonses will be punished.
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Lettuce not judge, lest we be judged….the wilting attacks of the prosecution in the case took the freshnes off the defense, however they crisply rebuffed the plaintiff in the case, got to the core of the argument, and were complimented for having a head for legal matters….
Woman Cited in Pa. for Flinging Lettuce
Mon Jan 23, 4:15 PM ET
EASTON, Pa. - A woman fined $173.50 for throwing salad greens out of her car says, lettuce not be too quick to judge her.
Dawn Higgins, 47, was cited Oct. 18 while parked outside a Wal-Mart in Lower Nazareth Township in eastern Pennsylvania.
"Lettuce comes from the ground, therefore it can go back into the ground," she said. "It's biodegradable. I didn't think I was doing anything wrong."
Higgins said she took her daughters and a friend to the store, and they stopped at a McDonald's along the way. She said she pulled into a parking space to finish her meal but decided not to eat the half-dozen or so leaves atop her salad.
After failing to appear in court Dec. 22, Higgins discovered she had been convicted in absentia and owed the state $173.50. She has appealed to Northampton County Court, where she said she will call her children and their friend as witnesses.
She also plans to bring along a salad to show leaves to the judge.
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That teacher must have season tickets…
Teen Says Teacher Made Him Sit on Floor
Mon Jan 23, 4:23 PM ET
BEAVER FALLS, Pa. (AP) - A 17-year-old high school student said he was humiliated when a teacher made him sit on the floor during a midterm exam in his ethnicity class — for wearing a Denver Broncos jersey.
The teacher, John Kelly, forced Joshua Vannoy to sit on the floor and take the test Friday — two days before the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Broncos 34-17 in the AFC championship game. Kelly also made other students throw crumpled up paper at Vannoy, whom he called a "stinking Denver fan," Vannoy told The Associated Press on Monday.
Kelly said Vannoy, a junior at Beaver Area Senior High School, just didn't get the joke.
"If he felt uncomfortable, then that's a lesson; that's what (the class) is designed to do," Kelly told The Denver Post. "It was silly fun. I can't believe he was upset."
Vannoy was wearing a No. 7 Broncos jersey on Friday, because he is a fan of John Elway, the Broncos' retired Hall of Fame quarterback.
Vannoy said he was so unnerved he left at least 20 questions blank on the 60-question test, and just wants out of Kelly's class because he's afraid the teacher won't treat him fairly now that the story reached the media.
"I'm going to have to deal with him for two more nine weeks (school quarters) and he's going to want revenge somehow," Vannoy said Monday. "I took the test. I'm shaking. I'm furious. I didn't know what to do."
Kelly, who wore a Ben Roethlisberger jersey Friday, and his principal, Thomas Karczewski, didn't immediately return messages left on their school voice mail Monday.
Big Beaver Falls Area School District Superintendent Donna Nugent said she was aware of the situation, but said confidentiality rules prevent her from commenting specifically.
"We'll take whatever action we need to in order for the student to feel comfortable," Nugent said.
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So much for honesty with politicians…he's been known to be rabid about a few things, why not in reality...
Pooch Bites the Hand That Governs It
Mon Jan 23, 10:30 PM ET
ALBANY, N.Y. (AP) - During a news conference in which Gov. George Pataki sought to take a bite out of crime, a dog bite got the upper hand. At first the ex-hooper joked that his bandaged right hand was the result of a reverse dunk. Under further questioning he allowed that he had tried to break up a fight between his dog and another — apparently unsuccessfully.
He downplayed the injury and didn't get an anti-rabies shot after the weekend incident at his family home in Garrison, Putnam County.
"If I start foaming at the mouth, you'll know I should have had it," Pataki said.
What happened to the suspect?
"Twenty-five years to life," Pataki quipped.
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WARNING!!! Not for the squeamish -- this is happening waaay to much fellas! You gotta keep the sharpies from the harpies, else this happens…sounds like she was pissed off one too many times…
Miffed Wife Reportedly Snips Hubby's Penis
Mon Jan 23, 11:12 PM ET
PHNOM PENH, Cambodia (AP) - A Cambodian man received 25 stitches to his penis after his wife attempted to sever the organ with scissors after a domestic dispute, a newspaper reported Tuesday.
Khay Kaing, 40, returned home early Saturday after a night of drinking and karaoke with friends in Kampong Cham province, 50 miles northeast of the capital Phnom Penh, the Koh Santepheap, or Island of Peace, newspaper reported.
An argument ensued and he allegedly slapped his wife. As the man got into bed his wife came at him with the scissors and attempted to cut off his penis, the newspaper reported, not detailing whether she succeeded.
Kang Sakhan, the provincial police chief, confirmed the incident but did not provide details.
The newspaper said after being attacked, the man walked some 1,640 feet to a relative's home to seek help and was later taken to a village doctor who administered the sutures.
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Bet ya didn’t know what was in that expensive perfume, did ya???
Australian whale vomit find worth a fortune
Tue Jan 24, 1:27 AM ET
SYDNEY (AFP) - A family on the south Australian coast found a piece of whale vomit on the beach that is tipped to be worth hundreds of thousands of dollars, national radio reported.
The chunk of ambergris, which is sought after by perfume manufacturers, weighed 14.75 kilograms (32 pounds) and is worth about 20 US dollars per gram, ABC radio said -- making a total of 295,000 dollars.
Fisherman Leon Wright and his wife Loralee found the ambergris, which sperm whales are believed to vomit to rid their intestines of hard objects such as squid beaks, on a remote beach near Streaky Bay.
Loralee was reluctant to accept her husband's suggestion that they throw the mysterious, solid, fatty object into the back of her four-wheel-drive vehicle, so they left it there, said local marine expert Ken Jury.
Two weeks later, travelling in Leon's vehicle, they discovered that it was still there and took it home, Jury, who is advising the family, told AFP.
Ambergris, which floats after being vomited by the whales, is a rare find and has to a large extent been replaced in the fragrance industry by synthetics.
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Its getting too easy...
Malaysian senator fined for divorcing wife by SMS
Fri Jan 20, 12:01 AM ET
KUALA LUMPUR (AFP) - A Malaysian Muslim senator has been fined for divorcing his wife by sending her an SMS text message and leaving a voicemail on her mobile phone.
The senator, Kamaruddin Ambok, 52, was fined 550 ringgit (147 dollars) Thursday by a Islamic or sharia court for attempting to divorce his wife Mahani Hussain by phone in October 2001, instead of declaring his intentions in court.
The maximum punishment for the offence is 1,000 ringgit or six months' jail, reports said.
"When you marry someone, you go through all the ... processes," said the sharia judge, Zainor Rashid Hassin, referring to ethnic Malay marriage rituals.
"Now, why can't you divorce someone properly as well," he was quoted as saying in the Star daily.
In Malaysian Islamic law, a man can divorce his wife with verbal pronouncements known as talaq in a sharia court, said reports.
The ruling comes amidst heated debate over controversial Islamic family legislation that rights groups have said undermine women's rights within a marriage.
The prosecuting sharia officer, Mohamad Yusof Sulaiman, had asked for a heavier sentence, saying it would better highlight the seriousness of the offence.
"Cases such as this are happening often these days," he said.
"Even NGOs have been critical of Islamic laws lately, especially on matrimonial matters which are said to favour certain parties."
Kamaruddin said he regretted his actions and asked for light punishment and a reduction in the sentence, said reports.
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And to close this edition…Lets do the time warp agaaaainnnn (in church) oh lets do the time warrrpp agaaainnnn…it’s a jump to the left….and a jump to the right…hands on your hips and squeeze them tight….I wanna go to this church!!
British vicar offers Rocky Horror service for Goths
Thu Jan 19, 12:11 PM ET
LONDON (AFP) - A British vicar has created his own version of the Rocky Horror Picture Show to lure the faithful back into the fold -- a new twice-monthly church service for the Goths in his parish, complete with rock music and compulsory black garments.
The idea is the brainchild of Martin Ramshaw, associate Anglican vicar and resident Goth at the very traditionally named church of St Edward King and Martyr in the very well-heeled eastern university city of Cambridge.
"The service seeks to find new ways of making the life of the church meaningful to people from alternative, and particularly Goth, communities," Ramshaw explains on the church's website, http://www.blogger.com/www.st-edwards-cam.org.uk "I am a Goth myself and realized that quite a lot of people I knew were spiritual rather than religious and were desperately looking for a spiritual home."
Held on alternate Tuesday evenings, the new 45-minute service is candle-lit -- though more in the style of English band Flesh Eating Foundation than that of Cambridge's world-famous Christmas Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols.
The dozen or so worshippers that the service regularly draws usually pile into a nearby nightclub after prayers for a Goth event aptly named the Calling, Ramshaw explains on his dedicated website, http://www.blogger.com/www.thegotheucharist.org.uk.
The Gothic movement, which is generally keener on heavy metal than Hail Marys, is also suspected of dabbling in Satanism. But those acolytes who do venture through the hallowed doors of 15th-century St Edwards need not feel daunted even if -- God forbid -- they forget their all-black Gothic garb: Ramshaw is producing a special t-shirt for the service.
"It will be a long-sleeved black t-shirt with a quote from St John's Gospol's (sic) farewell discourse printed on the front and the back. The front will say simply 'If the world hates you...' and the back will say 'remember it hated me first'."
"I thought this could be one way of encouraging people into church that wasn't Bible bashing and would show people that Christianity can provide hope and support," the 34-year-old vicar adds on the church website.
Ramshaw, who started up the Gothic service early this month, is the latest member of the clergy in Britain to come up with a novel attempt to stem the haemorrage of churchgoers across the country.
A Methodist church near Oxford, the other most prestigious university city in England, is trying to attract younger worshippers by hosting a singles club, concerts for teenage rock bands and screenings of films such as "Back to the Future" and "The Mummy".

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Black Adder moments

Blackadder :Baldrick, I want you to go out and buy a turkey so large you'd think it's mother had been rogered by an omnibus.

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Bob Parkhurst : I want to see how a war is fought, so badly.
Captain Blackadder : Well, you've come to the right place, Bob. A war hasn't been fought this badly since Olaf the Hairy, high chief of all the vikings, accidentally ordered 80,000 battle helmets with the horns on the inside.

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[Flasheart, a pilot, about planes]
Lord Flasheart : Always treat your kite like you treat your woman: get inside her 5 times a day and take her to heaven and back.
Captain Blackadder : I can see why the suffragette movement are wanting the vote.
Lord Flasheart : Hey, hey! Any girl who wants to chain herself to my railings and suffer a jet movement gets my vote!

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Captain Blackadder : Flasheart, this is Captain Darling.
Lord Flasheart : Captain Darling? Funny name for a guy isn't it? Last person I called darling was pregnant twenty seconds later.

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[after Baldrick's Charlie Chaplin impersonation]
Captain Blackadder :Yes... take down a telegram, Bob. To Mr. Charlie Chaplin, Sennet Studios, Hollywood, California. Congrats stop. Have found only person in world less funny than you stop. Name Baldrick stop. Signed E. Blackadder stop. Oh, and put a P.S.: please, please, please stop.

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Lord Flasheart : Mind if I use your phone? If word gets out I'm missing, five hundred girls will kill themselves. Hello? Cancel the state funeral, tell the king to stop blubbing, Flash is not dead! I simply ran out of juice! And before five hundred girls all go 'oh, what's the point in living any more?' I'm talking about petrol! Send someone along to pick me up. General Melchett's driver will do, she hangs round with a big nob so she'll be used to a fellow like me.
Captain Blackadder : Look, do you think you could make your obscene phone call somewhere else?
Lord Flasheart : No, not in half an hour you rubber desk-johnny! Send the bitch with the wheels right now or I'll fly back home and give your wife something to hang her towels on!
[hangs up]

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[Blackadder is about to be shot]
Corporal Perkins : Well, Captain, I've got to admire your balls.
Captain Blackadder : Perhaps later.

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Captain Blackadder : [to Bob Parkhurst] Your disguise is about as convincing as a giraffe wearing dark sunglasses trying to get into a polar bear's only golf club.

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King Richard IV : As the good Lord said, "Love thy neighbour as thyself, unless he's Turkish, in which case, kill the bastard!"

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Prince George : Someone said I had the wit and intellect of a donkey.
Blackadder : Oh, an absurd suggestion sir, unless it was a particularly stupid donkey.

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[Referring to a suicide pill they have both been given, after being captured by French revolutionaries]
Baldrick : I'm glad to say you won't be needing that pill, Mr. B.
Blackadder : Am I jumping the gun, Baldrick, or are the words "I have a cunning plan" marching with ill-deserved confidence in the direction of this conversation?
Baldrick : They certainly are.
Blackadder : Well, forgive me if I don't do a cartwheel of joy; your record in this department is hardly 100%. So what is it?
Baldrick : We do nothing...
Blackadder : Yup, it's another world-beater.
Baldrick : No, wait. We do nothing... until our heads have actually been cut off.
Blackadder : And then we... spring into action?

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Prince George : [wakes up agitated] Oh, Blackadder. Blackadder!
Blackadder : You called sir?
Prince George : Wha- wha- what time is it?
Blackadder : Three o'clock in the afternoon, your highness.
Prince George : Oh, thank God for that, I thought I'd overslept.

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[referring to Dr. Johnson's dictionary]
Blackadder : Right, Baldrick. Where's the manuscript?
Baldrick : You mean the big papery thing tied up with string?
Blackadder : Yes, Baldrick. The manuscript belonging to Dr. Johnson.
Baldrick : You mean the baity fellow in the black coat who just left?
Blackadder : Yes, Baldrick. Dr. Johnson.
Baldrick : So, you're asking where the big papery thing tied up with string belonging to the baity fellow in the black coat who just left is?
Blackadder : Yes, Baldrick. I am. And if you don't answer, then the booted bony thing with five toes at the end of my leg will soon connect sharply with soft, dangly collection of objects in your trousers. Now for the last time, Baldrick, where is Dr. Johnson's manuscript?
Baldrick : On the fire.
Blackadder : On the *what*?
Baldrick : The hot, orangy thing under the stony mantelpiece.

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Baldrick : Sounds like a bag of grapefruits to me, Mr B.
Blackadder : The phrase, Baldrick, is "a case of sour grapes" - and yes it bloody well is.

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Blackadder: They have one great redeeming feature: their wallets. More capacious than an elephant's scrotum and just as difficult to get your hands on

Random fact generators

Vin Diesel: http://www.4q.cc/vin/
Mr. T: http://www.4q.cc/t/
Chuck Norris: http://www.4q.cc/chuck/

Random fact generators for these three stars...

Katrina humour - we need a good laugh about it...

One of the local television stations in South Louisiana actually aired an interview with a woman from New Orleans.  The interviewer was a woman from a Boston affiliate, so she asked the interviewee how such total and complete devastation of the churches in the area had affected their lives.  

The woman replied, " I don't know about all those other people, but we haven't gone to Church's in years. We gets our chicken from Popeye's."

The look on the interviewer's face was priceless.

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One wonders if the people of New Orleans would actually attend a concert of the 80's rock band Katrina and the Waves and their hit song "I'm Walking on Sunshine"

Friday, January 20, 2006

Lyrics to Black Metallic by The Catherine Wheel

Black Metallic
The Catherine Wheel
Lyrics and Music by Rob Dickinson

I've never seen you when you're smiling
It really gets under my skin
You say it's easy when it's faster
I still can't guess what you're after

It's the colour of your skin
Your skin is black metallic
It's the colour of your skin
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic

I think of you when you're sleeping
Of all the secrets that you're keeping
You can't stay all day under the covers
'Cause under there you'll discover

It's the colour of your skin
Your skin is black metallic
It's the colour of your skin
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
You're turning black metallic...

It's the colour of your skin
It's the colour of your skin...

Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
You're turning black metallic

It's the colour of your skin
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic
Your skin is black metallic


Smart Cats Strut Their Stuff - When They Want To

Smart cats strut their stuff - when they want to
By Sarah Newman
From the ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH
Fri 1/20/2006 6:28 PM
Dog lovers will say no. Cats are too dumb to learn tricks.

Cat lovers will say no, too. Cats are SMARTER than dogs. Cats not only learn tricks, they're smart enough to do them only when THEY want to - and when doing them makes some semblance of sense.

Take Tommy, the cat who called 911 after his owner fell out of his wheelchair. According to The Associated Press, Gary Rosheisen of Columbus, Ohio, had tried to train his orange-and-tan cat to call 911. But Rosheisen never knew whether the training worked - until Dec. 29, when police appeared at his door to find him lying helpless on the floor, with Tommy sitting calmly by the phone.

Before Labrador lovers call this feline phoner a fluke (or a fraud), consider the case of Tipper, a gray-and-white tabby who also called 911. In this incident, reported by The Associated Press in July 1996, the quick-thinking cat wasted no time using the speed dial to summon the Hillsborough, Fla., sheriff's department to come to his aid when he choked on a flea collar that had caught in his mouth.

Admittedly, Tommy could have used the speed dial, too. And both cats'
life-saving actions could be considered nothing more than coincidences. But one thing is certain: Cats are smarter than many people think they are.

Cats clearly are clever creatures. Some are even creative. Many like to paint, as pointed out by Heather Busch and Burton Silver in "Why Cats

Paint: A Theory of Feline Aesthetics" (Ten Speed Press, 1994).

Then there are cats like the one who lives with "Hotcakes." In response to a query asking readers how smart their cats are, posted recently on the Pet Forum at STLtoday (www.stltoday.com), "Hotcakes" wrote: "I have a cat that I am trying to teach to paint, but he prefers to sculpt instead."

Cats commended in other forum responses, as well as in letters and e-mails to The Tail End, appeared less artistically inclined, although it could be that correspondents simply preferred to point out other aspects of their cats' intelligence. Or talents. To wit:

- Linda Babb of St. Louis spotlighted her cat's Academy Award-worthy acting skills. When Babb first saw the pitiful creature at the Animal Protective Association of Missouri in Brentwood, the cat was wearing a true hangdog look, "sitting in a hunkered-down position facing the back of her cage." If T-Shirt had not looked so truly miserable, Babb would not have adopted the 5-year-old Russian Blue, who is now healthy and beautiful, with a wide-eyed, surprised look and Mona Lisa smile ("further proof of her acting credentials," Babb says).

- A gray tabby named Lucy entertains Donald and Dorothy Rice of St. Louis every night "by standing on her hind legs and waving her front paws toward the kitchen." After she does this three times (the Rices do the counting), she leads them to the kitchen to collect a treat.

- A gray tabby named Patches has made a daytime ritual out of grooming her Yorkshire terrier roommate, Morgie, and a nighttime ritual out of playing fetch using knotted rubber bands. When Thomas Lanham of St. Louis retires for the night, Patches brings her self-designed toy to his bedside for him to toss into the tub in the adjacent bathroom, where she then runs to retrieve it, over and over and over. If she places her toy too far from his reach, Lanham will tell her to bring it closer, which she does. If Lanham stays up too far past his usual bedtime, Patches starts carrying rubber bands into the family room and dropping them at his feet.

- Della and Diva are such die-hard indoor cats, they won't go outside even when the door is left open. So when Della suddenly insisted on going out the back door one cold afternoon, Paul Scott of Springfield, Ill., was perplexed. When the agitated cat started to meow loudly, which was way out of character, Scott and his wife decided to let her go and follow her.

Della immediately bolted toward the neighbor's yard and jumped over the fence. Running after her, the Scotts opened the gate and found Della walking around their neighbor's elderly father, who had fallen off the porch and could not get up.

- When a kitten named Petey joined the household of James and Sandra Milsin of Kansas City, only-cat Oliver was not amused. When Petey discovered Oliver's toy box full of neglected catnip treasures, the lord of the manor was downright distraught. When the toys in the box began to disappear, the Milsins thought Petey was simply transplanting them. When the box turned up empty, a thorough search - conducted at ground level because Petey was too small to jump onto high surfaces - produced only one or two of the missing toys. When new toys were purchased, they, too, disappeared. Then someone removed a book from atop a high bookcase. Out fell several cat toys. A high-level search revealed more toys. Oliver obviously had not wanted to share his toys - or let the tiny intruder have any new ones, either. Today, three years later, the two felines are best friends who even share their food bowls.

- Casey, "an abandoned shelter foundling" pressed into service as a hardworking barn cat, is an audience-loving performer at heart. When Andrea Kern of Fenton took Casey into her home, he eagerly joined her in her stair-climbing exercises and enjoyed interacting with pull toys and games of hide-and-seek and chase. He learned to jump through a Hula-Hoop, and he loves to let Kern pull him around in a laundry basket, "so much so that when guests arrive, he automatically jumps in his basket and unfailingly performs his routine."

- When Paula Jo Anderson's sister moved in with her, her dog, Rolly, had trouble adjusting to Anderson's small apartment while the women were at work. He became noisy, restless and destructive - until Anderson's cat, Golda, began to turn on the radio.

The women noticed the change in Rolly's behavior. But they could not figure out how a radio that had been turned off when they left for work would be turned on when they returned. They finally discovered Golda's button-pushing act while watching through the window.

The noiseless apartment probably made Rolly nervous, so the conversation and music from the radio helped comfort him, wrote Anderson, of Springfield, Ill. She believes that the ever-observant, quick-learning Golda had noticed the difference in Rolly's behavior when she jumped up on the table to get away from him and accidentally hit the radio's on button.

- A California-born black cat named Cali from Florissant likes to track the fish on Debbie Rowe's computer screensaver. When a fish he is eyeing swims off the screen, "he walks behind the computer monitor and looks for it,"

then looks at Rowe "as if to say, 'Where did it go? I can't find it.'"

- Every evening Mark and Joyce Rockhold of Union put a dab of ice cream in a saucer and say to their cat, "Tankie, here is your ice cream." And every evening, Tankie gives them "a nice big yawn" of gratitude. Sometimes Tankie meows his thanks, but the meow always turns into a yawn, "which is even cuter."

- Diane Earhart of Belleville has a Russian Blue mix named Blue Max, who is diabetic and on a feeding schedule. Earhart is often on the computer in the evening when Max starts to beg for food. He doesn't react to such computer prompts as "you've got mail" or "file's down," but as soon as he hears "goodbye," Earhart says, "he's on his feet and meowing and running to his food bowl because he knows I'm right behind him to feed him."

- A kitten named Kali quickly learned to open cabinet doors by watching her big brother, a tabby named Rudy. Now age 2, the little Balinese still hasn't figured out how to get past the sliding door to the pantry, where the cat treats are stashed. But if Mary Fogarty of Chesterfield leaves the pantry door open before going to bed, Kali the cat burglar not only helps herself to a midnight snack, she drags the treat pouch into the bedroom "to show off her 'catch.' "

- Romeo, a sly Siamese who lives in St. Louis with Cathy Soete, was about 6 months old when he suddenly started an after-dinner exercise routine. He'd toss a potholder into the air, chase it, then toss it again. What Soete could not figure out was where Romeo was getting the potholders.

"I stored them in a drawer," she wrote, "and I knew he couldn't open the drawer."

At least that's what she thought until she spied on him and learned his trick. The clever kitten first used his paws to pull open the door of the cabinet beneath the potholder drawer. Next, he walked over the pots and pans to the back of the cabinet, where he stood on his hind legs and used his front paws to push open the drawer from behind. Then he walked back out over the pots and pans, jumped up on the kitchen counter and fished his potholder out of the open drawer.

- "Sunchaser," from the Pet Forum, has a cat that prefers to dine off place mats, and a grandcat that always starts to purr as soon as someone starts to light a fire in the fireplace.

- A clever cat belonging to forum user "Kevrab" digs plastic newspaper wrappers out of the trash and uses them to play slip-and-slide on the hallway floor.

- Molly from the Pet Forum has a new cat who walks around the house carrying articles of clothing, just "like a dog."

- "Saucy," another forum user, used to have a cat that liked to sit next to the phone, which was close to the stove, which was warm, which makes sense.

The weird thing was that the cat would "always meow and jump down about 2 seconds before the phone would ring."

- Jeanette Pratt of St. Louis has two cats, Buddy and Misty, who follow her wherever she goes. Misty also plays fetch using the plastic rings off orange juice bottles. Misty places the retrieved ring at Pratt's feet, and if Pratt doesn't pick it up right away, Misty jumps up and drops it in her lap.

- Mark Kowelman of St. Louis has a cat who "is so smart, he has three names he answers to." Wiley (aka Budzy and Pita) also plays fetch and keep-away, and he sits and rolls over on command.

- Two years ago, Derek Wineman and Julie Newton of St. Louis took in a pregnant cat and made her a bed in the living room at the opposite end from the Christmas tree. One of her three thumb-sized kittens was not well, and three days after it was born, the mother moved it to the end of the bed, where it later died. That night, before they went to bed, Wineman and Newton checked on their feline family and found a silk angel ornament from their tree lying where the kitten had been. They returned it to the tree.

The next morning it was back in the basket. And there it stayed.

"We decided that if the ornament somehow represented her missing kitten,"
the couple wrote, "the young cat could keep her angel there as long as she wanted."

Thursday, January 19, 2006

DELUGE PART DEUX

There was another deluge in the house again yesterday. Apparently, my lovely yet unlucky spousal unit was doing the dishes in the kitchen and we have a portable dishwasher that hooks directly into the kitchen sink. Well, she left the stopper in the sink after cleaning out the pots and pans and, well, after one load of dishes and no where for that dishwater to go, it ended up on the 1/2 of the kitchen floor that wasn't flooded last time. Therefore, we have another huge load of towels to do and an overworked (and completely confused) wet/dry vacuum. Since it was something that could have been avoided, I did speak with her about it and to be careful with these kinds of things, however, there wasn't much discussion and everything's fine now. I swear - these are the days we will look back on and LAUGH when we get old and grey!

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

New stuff, different day...


And you thought White Castles couldn't affect you that much….
And green pigs might fly...
Thu Jan 12, 9:38 AM ET
TAIPEI (AFP) - Scientists in Taiwan have successfully bred three pigs which glow fluorescent green in the dark, marking a potential breakthrough for stem cell research.

The team from Taiwan, where the world's first genetically engineered fluorescent fish were created in 2003, injected a protein extracted from jelly fish into the nucleus of cells in a pig embryo to breed three male transgenic pigs, said Professor Wu Shinn-Chih, of National Taiwan University's Institute and Department of Animal Science and Technology.

It was hoped that the pigs would eventually enable reserachers to trace the development of tissues when stem cells are used to repair damaged organs, Wu said.

"Yes, this is really important. It should be helpful in the acceleration of clinical research of human stem cells as it is generally believed that physically pigs are among the animals which are most similar to human beings," he told AFP.

"I'm not sure if there are fluorescent green pigs elsewhere in the world, but so far, in the photos available in the field, I have never seen such pigs, whose whole bodies can glow green in the dark," Wu said.

"I was shocked when I saw the animals (glowing) the first time."
Wu dismissed concerns that the technology could endanger the ecosystem.
"There is no need to worry about that because, unlike fish, the confined green pigs have no way to crossbreed with wild species and produce 'Frankenpigs'," he said.

Conservationist groups warned of potential serious consequences to the eco-system after Taiwan's Taikong Corp in 2003 became the world's first company to sell transgenic fluorescent fish, which was listed as one of the "coolest inventions" that year by Time magazine.

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Yes, but they cant remove the glow…
New Invention Removes Odor From Hog Manure
Mon Jan 16, 10:27 PM ET
DES MOINES, Iowa (AP)- A man has received a $500,000 federal grant to mass produce his invention, a machine that removes the odor from hog manure.

The Tempest dryer, developed by Loran Balvanz, is designed to help solve water pollution, odor and noxious gas problems in the hog industry.

Balvanz said that because his invention separates water from the solids in manure, it can solve air and water quality problems.

The Tempest removes water from manure by spinning it at a high speed. The water is vented through the top of the dryer and vaporizes in the outside air.

The process reduces the volume and weight of the manure making for easy collection of the remaining solids.
The machine was developed for Balvanz's Global Resource Recovery Organization Inc., a company he founded in 1999.
Company president Bill Flowers said a farmer using the dryer each day could retain about 75 percent of the nutrients from hog manure. Since water is eliminated, farmers will no longer need long-term storage for liquid manure, Flowers said.

The smaller quantity of solids left over after the Tempest does its job can be stored on the farm and applied to fields as fertilizer when needed, he said.

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Lets just hope this doesn't happen at the sex change clinic…
Two patients in surgical slip-up
Mon Jan 16, 9:55 AM ET
SEOUL (Reuters) - South Korean doctors mistakenly removed part of the stomach of a patient due to have thyroid surgery, while removing the thyroid gland of another scheduled for stomach surgery, a hospital official said Monday.

The surgical mix-up took place at Konyang University Hospital in the city of Taejon, about 150 km (95 miles) south of Seoul and involved two women in their sixties who were both in for surgery the same day, hospital spokesman Kim Man-sik said.

Medical staff found out about the mix-up, which took place on December 29, only after they were filing paperwork on the two women, he said.

Doctors later performed the correct surgical procedures on both women and re-attached the part of the stomach they had removed from the patient with the thyroid problem, Kim said.

Both were recovering from their operations, he said.
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Sober…crazy, perhaps, but definitely sober…He probably wanted to avoid the Sanity Check point up the road…or, maybe he didn’t want to go through the check for DWI in that area, which is whipping out your sword and throwing yourself on it (real drunks would miss, you see…)

Sober driver flees police drink check, crashes
Fri Jan 13, 9:20 AM ET
TOKYO (Reuters) - A Japanese driver, afraid of having to take a breath-test, fled a police drink-driving checkpoint even though he was well under the legal alcohol limit, but ended up crashing his car.

The 44-year-old man drove through the checkpoint on a road in the western Japanese city of Ikeda late Wednesday. Pursuing police officers found the car about half a mile away, upside down in a dry riverbed below the road.

The driver, who suffered light injuries to his legs, was sitting beside the vehicle.
"I'd been drinking, so I fled," the Mainichi newspaper quoted the man as telling police.
A spokesman for the Osaka prefectural police said the man was not in breach of drunk-driving laws and they were treating the case as a simple traffic accident.

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BUFFY FOR LT. GOVERNOR OF MINNESOTA, eh?  This only goes to prove the long standing thoughts of many Iowans and Wisconsins that, yep, Minnesota DOES suck...

Vampire seeks governor's job
Fri Jan 13, 9:16 AM ET
MINNEAPOLIS (Reuters) - Minnesota voters, who eight years ago elected a former professional wrestler as their governor, may find a self-proclaimed vampire on the ballot for the office this year.

"Politics is a cut-throat business," said Jonathan "The Impaler" Sharkey, who said he plans to announce his bid for governor Friday on the ticket of the Vampyres, Witches and Pagans Party.

Like Jesse "The Body" Ventura, who was elected governor as an independent in 1998, the 41-year-old Sharkey once was a wrestler, although he spent his time "The Unholiest of Kings: Tarantula" on obscure professional circuits.

"I'm a Satanist who doesn't hate Jesus," Sharkey told Reuters. "I just hate God the Father."
However, he claims to respect all religions and if elected, will post "everything from the Ten Commandments to the Wicca Reed" in government buildings.

Sharkey also pledged to execute convicted murders and child molesters personally by impaling them on a wooden pole outside the state capitol.

Sharkey told the Minneapolis Star Tribune that he's a vampire "just like you see in the movies and TV."
"I sink my fangs into the neck of my donor ... and drink their blood," he said, adding that his donor is his wife, Julie.

The field for the governor's race in Minnesota is far from complete. Republican incumbent Tim Pawlenty is widely expected to seek another term in November and his Democratic opponent has not been determined.

Sharkey said he planned to announce his candidacy Friday -- the 13th -- because that was "my lucky number."
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Ladies, take note…hey what happens if you watch "those kind of movies" on the TV in the bedroom????  Hey, they're documentaries - have you ever seen someone do something like that comfortably with their end up in that kind of position???

TV in the bedroom halves your sex life - study
Mon Jan 16, 12:53 PM ET
ROME (Reuters) - Thinking of buying a TV for the bedroom? Think again -- it could ruin your sex life.
A study by an Italian sexologist has found that couples who have a TV set in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't.

"If there's no television in the bedroom, the frequency (of sexual intercourse) doubles," said Serenella Salomoni whose team of psychologists questioned 523 Italian couples to see what effect television had on their sex lives.

On average, Italians who live without TV in the bedroom have sex twice a week, or eight times a month. This drops to an average of four times a month for those with a TV, the study found.

For the over-50s the effect is even more marked, with the average of seven couplings a month falling to just 1.5 times.
The study found certain programmes are far more likely to impede passion than others. Violent films will put a stop to sexual relations for half of all couples, while reality shows stem passion for a third of couples.

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This is like calling the wrong number…hello?  Hello, I'd like to speak with Joey….ok, you can, but Joey is a year and a half old….I'll hold…<with apologies to Steven Wright..>  I get cranky too if I don’t get my sleepy time...

Two-Year-Old Called for Jury Duty
Mon Jan 16, 10:29 PM ET
NEW BEDFORD, Mass. (AP) - Kaylee Reynolds had a problem when she recently received a summons to serve on a jury. She wasn't old enough to read it.

The 2-year-old has quite a few years to go before she reaches the minimum age of 18 to serve on a state jury. Lucky for Kaylee, Massachusetts Jury Commissioner Patricia Reynolds seemed willing to let it slide for a while.

"We'll give her a 16-year grace period," Wood told The Standard-Times of New Bedford.
Wood guessed the mix-up could be traced to a local census form. If the form has a blank or mistaken birth date, July 4, 1776 is filled in.

"With that date we'll know it is wrong," Wood said.
Besides her questionable understanding of the concepts of guilt or innocence, there are other reasons why it's best to wait for Kaylee to serve. Her mother, Patricia, says Kaylee gets really cranky if she doesn't get her noontime nap.

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The bring out your dead sequence from Monty Python and the Holy Grail…
Scene - middle ages, village street, bustle, MORTICIAN w/two other men pushing giant wheelbarrow like cart full of dead bodies (this is the middle ages, plagues and such you know) ringing small gong/cymble type device in one hand and calling out with the other…

MORTICIAN <Eric Idle>: Bring out your dead!
Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
[clang] Bring out your dead!
CUSTOMER [<John Cleese> appears w/an old gent over his left shoulder]: Here's one
MORTICIAN: Ninepence. [CUSTOMER hands MORTICIAN nine pence]
DEAD PERSON <some old guy, pleading>: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: What?
CUSTOMER: Nothing -- here's your nine pence.
DEAD PERSON <pleading>: I'm not dead!
MORTICIAN: Here -- he says he's not dead!
CUSTOMER: Yes, he is.
DEAD PERSON{to MORTICIAN}: I'm not!
MORTICIAN: He isn't.
CUSTOMER: Well, he will be soon, he's very ill.
DEAD PERSON: I'm getting better!
CUSTOMER [to old guy]: No, you're not -- you'll be stone dead in a moment.
MORTICIAN: Oh, I can't take him like that -- it's against regulations.
DEAD PERSON: I don't want to go on the cart!
CUSTOMER [to old guy]: Oh, don't be such a baby.
MORTICIAN: I can't take him...
DEAD PERSON: I feel fine!
CUSTOMER [to MORTICIAN, pleading]: Oh, do us a favor...
MORTICIAN: I can't.
CUSTOMER: Well, can you hang around a couple of minutes? He won't be long.
MORTICIAN: Naaah, I got to go on to the Robinson's -- they've lost nine today.
CUSTOMER: Well, when is your next round?
MORTICIAN: Thursday.
DEAD PERSON [to no one in particular]: I think I'll go for a walk.
CUSTOMER: [looks the old guy/dead person over his shoulder direct in the eye] You're not fooling anyone y'know. [looks back at MORTICIAN] Look, isn't there something you can do?
DEAD PERSON: I feel happy... I feel happy.
[MORTICIAN whops the old guy/dead person in the back of the head with a large club, killing him...]
CUSTOMER: Ah, thanks very much. [throws the old man/dead person on the cart with several other dead bodies on it]
MORTICIAN: Not at all. See you on Thursday.
CUSTOMER: Right.
Beings that he was in Bhopal, maybe he should have already been dead when Union Carbide tried to blow the place up back in the 80s (a battery plant they had there blew up, leveling a good percentage of the city and killing thousands of people (if memory serves me close to 100,000, but don’t quote me.))  That's why Ralston Purina got to buy Everready Batteries/Energizer - Union Carbide couldn’t handle the liability lawsuits from that and another plant explosion in the Appliacians somewhere (West Virginia comes to mind) earlier in the 70s, as well as being one of the contractors who made Agent Orange (if I remember) w/Dow Chemical, and they sold to RalCorp in the late 80's to make money to settle these suits - they moved their HQ to StL, and the rest is history!!!

BHOPAL, India (AP) - Is Raju Raghuvanshi alive or dead? Ask Raghuvanshi, he'll tell you he is alive. But ask his friends and family, and they'll tell you the man you just spoke with is a ghost sent to haunt them.

Believed by his friends and family to have died in prison, Raghuvanshi returned home earlier this month from his short jail stint to shouts of "Help! Ghost!" and the sounds of neighbors locking their doors in his home village of Katra.

"My family thinks I am dead," he said in a phone interview Monday. "They will not permit me to enter my home because they think I am a ghost."

Ostracized by the people of Katra, about 280 miles from Bhopal, he's now living in a nearby village and struggling to prove he's alive.

The best proof he had that his feet were still properly attached, not turned backward as ghosts' feet are thought to be was dismissed by villagers.

He said his brothers even "argued that they had completed all religious death ceremonies" and he should not have come back to haunt them.

Rural India remains deeply traditional and many in Katra share the traditional Hindu belief that they will be haunted by a ghost if ceremonies are not performed to ensure the soul of the deceased makes a peaceful transition into its next life.

Rumors over Raghuvanshi's death began when he was sent to prison in October for a minor tax infraction.
He fell ill there and was transferred to a prison hospital in another district, from where word spread that he had died and that his body had been cremated because no one had retrieved it.

After being turned away by his neighbors after his release, Raghuvanshi finally went to the police, who are trying to help convince the people of Katra that he is alive, said the area's police superintendent, N.V. Vaigankar.

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This one wasn't pinin for the fjords….<all these Monty Python references, I mean really!>
Pet Parrot Bites Alleged Burglar
Mon Jan 16, 6:08 PM ET
Information from: The Patriot-News, http://www.pennlive.com/patriotnews
WILLIAMSPORT, Pa. (AP) - Polly want a burglar? A pet parrot attacked a man who broke into its owner's apartment, and the bite and blood marks helped police identify a suspect.

The blue and gold macaw hybrid named Sunshine attacked Michael L. Deeter, 44, after he broke into the apartment, police said. Sunshine had blood on its beak and Deeter had marks on his hand consistent with those made by a parrot.

Deeter told police the bird bit him very hard after he entered James Erb's apartment and he still had the marks to prove it when he was arrested, authorities said. He allegedly got away with about $100 and a camcorder.

The crime-fighting bird also helped pinpoint the time of the break-in at 3 p.m. Saturday, when a neighbor heard it making a commotion.

Deeter became a suspect when police learned he had called Erb around 1 p.m. Saturday and learned he would be leaving for work. He confessed to breaking the glass in the door to get into the apartment, but said he was too drunk to remember anything else but his encounter with the bird, police said.

Deeter was arraigned on charges of burglary, criminal trespass, theft and criminal mischief and taken to the county jail in lieu of $25,000 bail.

As for the bird, Sunshine did not come away unscathed all but one of its large tail feathers had been pulled out.
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More birds with vicious beaks news…
Woman With Owl Collection Sets Record
Mon Jan 16, 5:17 PM ET
Information from: Sun-Journal, http://www.sunjournal.com
LEEDS, Maine (AP) - With more than 18,000 collectible owl memorabilia, Pam Barker half-kiddingly thought she might have a world's record. The Guinness Book of World Records has now certified that she was right.

Barker, 47, sent her count, a video and photographs to Guinness last spring. A couple of weeks ago, she got a certificate verifying her claim.

Barker came into the collection after a friend noticed an ad two years ago in the Uncle Henry's Swap It or Sell It Guide.

Under collectibles, the ad offered 14,000 owl items for sale. Barker and her friend thought the ad contained a typo and must have meant 1,400.

But when they went to a home in Wilton they found room after room filled with ceramic, macrame and plush owls, owls on beer steins and on towels, owl necklaces, owl statues, owl wind chimes, owl greeting cards. Even a blue toilet seat with a green owl painted under the lid.

The collection all 18,055 items had been owned by Dianne Turner, a collector who had recently died. A family friend was cleaning out the house and put the owls up for sale for $7,000. Barker offered about half.

"I did it as an investment, then out of curiosity," Barker said.
It took four people 13 days to pack them all up, and it took Barker months to unpack and clean them. She borrowed extra shelves at her husband's store, North Leeds Building Supply, to showcase her favorite colored-glass owls and bought display cases so she'd have somewhere to put the owl banks.

"It's been fun. Like a mid-life madness," Barker said.
On the Internet, Barker found someone who claimed to have the world's largest collection of owl items, with 8,000. So Barker applied with Guinness and got her collection certified as the world's largest.

Although Barker didn't know Turner, she's put the world record in Turner's name.
"Her husband gave her three owls after they got married," Barker said. "That started it all."
Barker is now selling off the collection, and has priced everything in the store. She'll sell it piece-by-piece if she has to, although she'd like to find a home for the entire collection.

"My husband would like his store back," she said.
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I HATE people like this….and I'm not a hater...
Man Solves Rubik's Cube in 11.13 Seconds
Sun Jan 15, 5:25 PM ET
SAN FRANCISCO (AP) - A 20-year-old California Institute of Technology student set a new world's record Saturday for solving the popular Rubik's Cube puzzle, turning the tiled brain-twister from scrambled to solved in 11.13 seconds.

Leyan Lo is part of Caltech's Rubik's Cube Club, a brainy clutch of students that hosted the competition at the Exploratorium museum in San Francisco. Lo's record-setting time came early in the day, among his first five tries in the preliminary rounds.

The record-setting solve caught competitors and Lo himself by surprise.
"It's kind of scary now that I set it, because I have two more (attempts) to go," Lo said humbly afterward. His time of 11.13 seconds broke the previous record of 11.75 seconds, set by Frenchman Jean Pons at the Dutch Open competition last year.

Still, the world record alone wouldn't gain Lo the overall champion's title at the event, which is determined by averaging three of five solution times in the final round. For that title, Lo went up against the teenager widely considered the fastest Rubik's Cube solver on the planet Shotaro "Macky" Makisumi, a 15-year-old high school sophomore from Pasadena.

Makisumi prevailed, clocking in with an average time of 14.91 seconds in the final round to take first place.
Besides blindingly fast fingers and a head for memorizing algorithms used by most top competitors to solve the cube, what is Makisumi's secret?

"I don't know. Faster first two layers," he surmised, referring to solving the first two layers of the cube's colored tiles before moving on to the last. For his victory, Makisumi won a Rubik's Snake puzzle, one of several variations on the basic cube model which has sold more than 100 million worldwide, according to the manufacturer.

Contestants brought their own cubes to the competition, and a computer program was used to scramble the cubes in the same fashion for each round to give the contestants equal footing.

One of the crowd favorites was Casey Pernsteiner, 14, who traveled to the event from her hometown of Gonzales, Texas, with her mother. Pernsteiner logged a 21.59 second average in the preliminary round to move on to the finals.

The crowd erupted with applause as she threw the cube down time after time, slapping an electronic timing mat and consistently clocking times well under 30 seconds.

"My previous best time in competition was 25 (seconds) and I beat that, like, all ten solves, so I was really happy with that," Pernsteiner said. She finished among the top 16 finalists.

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Its in Canada, but not here???  Think of the ratings boosts if we had this in America!!!  They would get nicknames…Brian "Boo-tay" Williams….George "you think my name is long" Stephanopolous…Anna Nicole Smith could finally get a job…only problem would be what you do with "breaking news"…

Naked News breaking in Japan market
By Julian Ryall
Wed Jan 11, 9:52 AM ET
TOKYO (Hollywood Reporter) - Naked News, which features anchors and reporters who disrobe during newscasts, launched its risque take on current affairs in Japan Tuesday.

Beneath a banner proclaiming Naked News as "The program with nothing to hide," Sunrise Corp. CEO Takuya Uchikawa described the service as "a unique concept for the Japanese market."

Sunrise, which specializes in sales of goods and services via the Internet, and Naked News owner eGalaxy Multimedia have set a target of 10,000 mobile subscribers in the first year.

"We would not have dared to come to Japan unless we were convinced that there was a definite market, and we now see there is a massive market here, we have a partner that understands that market and the technological skills to provide an enjoyable product," eGalaxy Multimedia Inc. CEO David Warga said.

Since making its debut in Canada in 1999, Naked News has become available via the Internet, television and mobile phones in North America, Australia and Europe.

"We believe there is a huge untapped market for the right kind of information if it was properly packaged," Warga said. "So we created a news-entertainment program in which women, and later men, informed while removing their clothing."

The service initially will be news that is provided for Naked News' existing markets but with Japanese subtitles. The plan is eventually to produce content in Japan that will appeal to a larger percentage of the population.

Another area being tested concerns the degree of nudity of the presenters. Initially, newscasters will strip to their underwear, but Uchikawa indicated that he hopes to be able to see how far Japanese obscenity broadcasting laws can be bent before they are broken.

Canadian-born presenter Lily Kwan has been peeling off her work clothes for five years and described the experience as "liberating."

"I love being able to go out onto the streets and take my clothes off," she said. "While we have been in Tokyo, people have been very surprised to see us with no tops on, but they're very happy and interested in talking to us."

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And finally, for the only reason to just creep you completely out….
Spider nests in Swedish woman's ear for 27 days
Wed Jan 11, 7:27 AM ET
STOCKHOLM (AFP) - A spider that nested in the ear of a Swedish woman was discovered and removed alive after 27 days.
The black spider, "the size of a thumbnail", crept into the woman's ear while she was sleeping and went undiscovered for almost a month, Swedish tabloid Expressen reported Wednesday.

The woman, whose name was not disclosed, told the paper that she at first experienced "a slight loss of hearing" and assumed that she had a build-up of wax.

But when she heard "a scratching sound" in her ear she decided to go to the pharmacy to buy a cleanser to wash out her ear cavity.

When she did so, the spider was flushed out alive and crawled away.
The woman recalled having seen a spider on her bed in November, 27 days earlier.