Dyn-O-Mite! TV Land lists catchphrases

NEW YORK (AP) - Sometimes it takes only a word, or just a few, to become immortalized in television history.

The TV Land cable network has compiled a list of the 100 greatest catchphrases in TV, from the serious — Walter Cronkite's nightly signoff "And that's the way it is" — to the silly: "We are two wild and crazy guys!"

The network will air a countdown special, "The 100 Greatest TV Quotes & Catch Phrases," over five days starting Dec. 11.

"We have found that television is such a huge part of baby boomers' DNA that it makes sense that so much of America's pop culture jargon has come from TV," said Larry Jones, TV Land president.

The greatest number of moments, 26, come from the 1970s. TV Land identified nine moments from this decade. Ten are from commercials, and 28 from comedies, including six from "Saturday Night Live."

In alphabetical order, TV Land's list:

_"Aaay" (Fonzie, "Happy Days")

_"And that's the way it is" (Walter Cronkite, "CBS Evening News")

_"Ask not what your country can do for you ..." (John F. Kennedy)

_"Baby, you're the greatest" (Jackie Gleason as Ralph Kramden, "The Honeymooners")

_"Bam!" (Emeril Lagasse, "Emeril Live")

_"Book 'em, Danno" (Steve McGarrett, "Hawaii Five-O")

_"Come on down!" (Johnny Olson, "The Price is Right")

_"Danger, Will Robinson" (Robot, "Lost in Space")

_"De plane! De plane!" (Tattoo, "Fantasy Island")

_"Denny Crane" (Denny Crane, "Boston Legal")

_"Do you believe in miracles?" (Al Michaels, 1980 Winter Olympics)

_"D'oh!" (Homer Simpson, "The Simpsons")

_"Don't make me angry ..." (David Banner, "The Incredible Hulk")

_"Dyn-o-mite" (J.J., "Good Times")

_"Elizabeth, I'm coming!" (Fred Sanford, "Sanford and Son")

_"Gee, Mrs. Cleaver ..." (Eddie Haskell, "Leave it to Beaver")

_"God'll get you for that" (Maude, "Maude")

_"Good grief" (Charlie Brown, "Peanuts" specials)

_"Good night, and good luck" (Edward R. Murrow, "See It Now")

_"Good night, John Boy" ("The Waltons")

_"Have you no sense of decency?" (Joseph Welch to Sen. McCarthy)

_"Heh heh" (Beavis and Butt-head, "Beavis and Butthead")

_"Here it is, your moment of Zen" (Jon Stewart, “The Daily Show”)

_"Here's Johnny!" (Ed McMahon, “The Tonight Show With Johnny Carson”)

_"Hey now!" (Hank Kingsley, "The Larry Sanders Show")

_"Hey hey hey!" (Dwayne Nelson, "What's Happening!!")

_"Hey hey hey!" (Fat Albert, "Fat Albert")

_"Holy (whatever), Batman!" (Robin, "Batman")

_"Holy crap!" (Frank Barone, "Everybody Loves Raymond")

_"Homey don't play that!" (Homey the Clown, "In Living Color")

_"How sweet it is!" (Jackie Gleason, "The Jackie Gleason Show")

_"How you doin'?" (Joey Tribbiani, "Friends")

_"I can't believe I ate the whole thing" (Alka Seltzer ad)

_"I know nothing!" (Sgt. Schultz, "Hogan's Heroes")

_"I love it when a plan comes together" (Hannibal, "The A-Team")

_"I want my MTV!" (MTV ad)

_"I'm Larry, this is my brother Darryl ..." (Larry, "Newhart")

_"I'm not a crook ..." (Richard Nixon – President, 1974)

_"I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV" (Vicks Formula 44 ad)

_"I'm Rick James, bitch!" (Dave Chappelle as Rick James, "Chappelle's Show")

_"If it weren't for you meddling kids!" (Various villains, "Scooby Doo, Where Are You?")

_"Is that your final answer?" (Regis Philbin, "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire")

_"It keeps going and going and going ..." (Energizer Batteries ad)

_"It takes a licking ..." (Timex ad)

_"Jane, you ignorant slut" (Day Akroyd to Jane Curtain, “Saturday Night Live”)

_"Just one more thing ..." (Columbo, "Columbo")

_"Let's be careful out there" (Sgt. Esterhaus, "Hill Street Blues")

_"Let's get ready to rumble!" (Michael Buffer, various sports events)

_"Live long and prosper" (Spock, "Star Trek")

_"Makin' whoopie" (Bob Eubanks, "The Newlywed Game")

_"Marcia, Marcia, Marcia! (Jan Brady, "The Brady Bunch")

_"Mom always liked you best" (Tommy Smothers, "The Smothers Brothers Comedy Hour")

_"Never assume ..." (Felix Unger, "The Odd Couple")

_"Nip it!" (Barney Fife, "The Andy Griffith Show”)

_"No soup for you!" (The Soup Nazi, "Seinfeld")

_"Norm!" ("Cheers")

_"Now cut that out!" (Jack Benny, "The Jack Benny Program")

_"Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!" (Stan and Kyle, "South Park")

_"Oh, my nose!" (Marcia Brady, "The Brady Bunch")

_"One small step for man ..." (Neil Armstrong)

_"Pardon me, would you have any Grey Poupon?" (Grey Poupon ad)

_"Read my lips: No new taxes!" (George H.W. Bush)

_"Resistance is futile" (Picard as Borg, "Star Trek: The Next Generation")

_"Say good night, Gracie" (George Burns, "The Burns & Allen Show")

_"Schwing!" (Mike Myers and Dana Carvey as Wayne and Garth, “Saturday Night Live”)

_"Senator, you're no Jack Kennedy" (Lloyd Bentsen to Dan Quayle, 1988 Vice Presidential Debate)

_"Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids" (Trix cereal ad)

_"Smile, you're on `Candid Camera'" ("Candid Camera")

_"Sock it to me" ("Rowan & Martin's Laugh-In")

_"Space, the final frontier ..." (Capt. Kirk, "Star Trek")

_"Stifle!" (Archie Bunker, "All in the Family")

_"Suit up!" (Barney Stinson, "How I Met Your Mother")

_"Tastes great! Less filling!" (Miller Lite beer ad)

_"Tell me what you don't like about yourself" (Dr. McNamara and Dr. Troy, "Nip/Tuck")

_"That's hot" (Paris Hilton, “The Simple Life”)

_"The thrill of victory, the agony of defeat" (Jim McKay, "ABC's Wide World of Sports")

_"The tribe has spoken" (Jeff Probst, "Survivor")

_"The truth is out there" (Fox Mulder, "The X-Files")

_"This is the city ..." (Sgt. Joe Friday, "Dragnet")

_"Time to make the donuts" ("Dunkin' Donuts" ad)

_"Two thumbs up" (Siskel & Ebert, "Siskel & Ebert")

_"Up your nose with a rubber hose" (Vinnie Barbarino, "Welcome Back, Kotter")

_"We are two wild and crazy guys!" (Steve Martin and Dan Akroyd, as two Czech playboy brothers, “Saturday Night Live”)

_"Welcome to the O.C., bitch" (Luke, "The O.C.")

_"Well, isn't that special?" (Dana Carvey as the Church Lady, "Saturday Night Live")

_"We've got a really big show!" (Ed Sullivan, "The Ed Sullivan Show")

_"Whassup?" (Budweiser ad)

_"What you see is what you get!" (Geraldine, "The Flip Wilson Show")

_"Whatchoo talkin' 'bout, Willis?" (Arnold Drummond, "Diff'rent Strokes")

_"Where's the beef?" (Wendy's ad)

_"Who loves you, baby?" (Kojak, "Kojak")

_"Would you believe?" (Maxwell Smart, "Get Smart")

_"Yabba dabba do!" (Fred Flintstone, "The Flintstones")

_"Yada, yada, yada" ("Seinfeld")

_"Yeah, that's the ticket" (Jon Lovitz, the Pathological Liar, “Saturday Night Live”)

_"You eeeediot!" (Ren, "Ren & Stimpy")

_"You look mahvelous!" (Billy Crystal as Fernando, "Saturday Night Live")

_"You rang?" (Lurch, "The Addams Family")

_"You're fired!" (Donald Trump, "The Apprentice")

_"You've got spunk ..." (Lou Grant, "The Mary Taylor Moore Show")

blonde at the post office...

A blonde goes to the Post Office to buy stamps for her Christmas cards.

She says to the clerk, "May I have 50 Christmas Stamps?"

The clerk says, "What denominations?"

The blonde says, "God help us. Has it come to this? Give me 6 Catholic,
12, Presbyterian, 10 Lutheran and 22 Baptist…

 

Fraud Alert: More holiday advice to take or leave as you please

Well the crooks have found a way to rob you of your gift card balance.  If you buy Gift Cards form a display rack that has various store cards you may become a victim of theft.  Crooks are now jotting down the card numbers in the store and then wait a few days and call to see how much of a balance THEY have on the card.  Once they find the card is "activated",  they go online and start shopping.

 

You may want to purchase your card from a customer service person, where they do not have the Gift Cards viewable to the public.

 

As the holiday season approaches, remember to keep purchases, purses, backpacks and other bags out of view by locking them in your trunk of your car.  Criminals know to walk through shopping center parking lots to look for your newly purchased gifts.  Also be sure to keep the receipts separate from the purchased items.  Criminals often return the items for cash or a gift card before you ever know they're gone.

BREAKING NEWS: Terror Alert in ST. LOUIS.

Subject: BREAKING NEWS: Terror Alert in ST. LOUIS.

 

St. Louis (MO)--Rams football practice was delayed nearly
Two hours Friday after a player reported finding an unknown white powdery
substance on the practice field. Head coach Scott Linehan immediately
suspended practice and called the police and federal investigators.

After a complete analysis, FBI forensic experts determined that the
White substance unknown to players was the GOAL LINE.

Practice resumed after special agents decided the team was unlikely to
encounter the substance again this season.

 

Holiday Gremlins Be Gone -- Tips for a Safer Shopping Season

Subject: Holiday Gremlins Be Gone -- Tips for a Safer Shopping Season

 

"Black Friday," the day after Thanksgiving, is historically one of the busiest retail shopping days of the year and many consider it the "official" beginning to the holiday season. But as the holiday season gets into full swing, so do the crooks and predators whose idea of "holiday cheer" features mayhem, misdeeds and misdemeanors. Following these ten tips for a safer shopping experience will ensure a joyous holiday season for all:

 

1.)  Strut While You Shop - Thieves and predators are on the lookout for body language that conveys vulnerability. Criminals look for easy marks such as people who are slouched over, preoccupied or are fumbling with packages. Walk confidently and be alert when you maneuver through crowded malls and parking areas.

2.)  Don't Shop Till You Drop - While Madison Avenue may say otherwise, security professionals advise that consumers avoid holiday shopping fatigue. Keep your shopping bags in your sight at all times, and don't burden yourself with too many packages.

3.)  No Flashing - Displaying large sums of cash is a powerful lure to greedy thieves. Use checks or credit cards whenever possible and never leave your credit card on a store counter. While "bling" may be king, avoid wearing visibly expensive jewelry during holiday shopping jaunts.

4.)  Where is Waldo or your Wallet and Purse? - While the worldwide search for Waldo may be fun, the same spirit of joy is missing when a purse or wallet has gone MIA. Carry your handbag or purse close to your body with the clasp or flap secured and facing toward you. Never leave your purse on a store counter, on the floor in a restroom or in a dressing room.

5.)  Maintain Pack Mentality - There is safety in numbers, so shopping with friends whenever possible is highly recommended.

6.)  Report Suspicious Activity - Report suspicious people or situations to mall security. Be aware of unusual movements or anyone who gets too close for comfort.

7.)  Avoid Parking Lot Isolation - Chockfull of goodies during the holidays, parking lots are targeted locations for the theft of valuables from vehicles. Parking in an isolated area rolls out the welcome mat for criminals so park near other vehicles or in high pedestrian and traffic areas.

8.)  Tuck Away Valuables - Criminals walk through parking lots looking for easy opportunities, such as vehicles with unlocked doors or packages and valuables in plain sight. Don't be an easy target and remember to tuck packages and valuables out of sight in your vehicle, and be certain that your windows are closed and your doors are locked.

9.)  Parking Lot Readiness - Avoid becoming an easy mark in the parking lot by being aware of noises and movements and having your keys in your hands, ready to open your vehicle. Be sure to look into the vehicle's front and rear seat before entering it, and lock your vehicle as soon as you get in.

10.)  Keep Guard and Windows Up - If someone approaches your vehicle inquiring about directions, do not open your door or roll your window down. If you have car trouble, remain in your car and use a cell phone to call for assistance, or return to the mall and notify security.

 

While criminals and predators are most prolific during the holidays, effective security precautions require a conscious awareness of one's environment virtually every day of the year. Maintain vigilance, common sense and caution and keep the holiday and everyday gremlins at bay.

Happy Thanksgiving Day!

Thanksgiving Day:

 

It's more than just pilgrims, pumpkin pie, turkey and the day before the busiest shopping day of the year read on...

 

Despite the popular conception that New Englanders held the first Thanksgiving, the first Thanksgiving in English-speaking America actually took place in Virginia - more than a year before the Mayflower set sail for Plymouth.

 

History records show that the first Thanksgiving occurred when Captain John Woodlief - a veteran of Jamestown who survived its "starving time" - led his crew and passengers from their ship to a grassy slope along the James River for the New World's first Thanksgiving service on December 4, 1619. 

 

The next recorded celebration, also the most recognized, occurred in 1621.   In July of 1620, forty-six "Saints" started their journey to America from Holland aboard the Mayflower.  This group of people had spent the last twelve years of their lives hiding in exile from religious persecution in England.  On November 11, 1621 they arrived and settled an area of present day Massachusetts in an abandoned Indian village called Patuxet.  Their late arrival, harsh winter, and lack of food caused great hardship.  Nearly half of the original Pilgrims from the Mayflower died.  Squanto, a previous inhabitant of Patuxet, befriended the pilgrims and lived with them.  His knowledge of agriculture, hunting and construction was a Godsend to these humble people.  The following November, they celebrated a Thanksgiving for their arrival and bounty in the new land.  Other local native Americans, the Wampanoags, joined in the festivities by bringing additional food and playing games with the settlers.  

 

The first national celebration of Thanksgiving occurred in 1777.  It was a one time event used as a way to celebrate the American defeat of the British at Saratoga during the Revolutionary War.  Thanksgiving was erratically recognized until 1827 when Sarah Joseph Hale started a campaign to make it a national holiday.  As the editor of the Boston's Ladies Magazine, Sarah started writing editorials about her belief that the country needed to set aside a day to give thanks.

 

Finally, her persistence paid off with Abraham Lincoln on October 3, 1863.  Two hundred forty-four years after the first Thanksgiving celebration, President Lincoln proclaimed the last Thursday in November as a national holiday.  It wasn't until 1941, that Congress declared the fourth Thursday in November to be the legal Holiday in America known as Thanksgiving!

 

Happy Thanksgiving!

 

Gobble! Gobble! Gobble!

Hamburgers to die for at US restaurant

Fri Nov 17, 6:35 PM ET

WASHINGTON (AFP) - A restaurant in the southwestern US state of Arizona that proudly admits to trying to finish off its customers has introduced a new item on its menu -- the "quadruple bypass burger".

The burger at the "Heart Attack Grill" restaurant is stacked with four beef patties, cheese, onions, tomatoes and fried bacon, and weighs in at only 8,000 calories, more than three times what the human body needs in one day.

Patrons who have no appetite for the "quadruple bypass burger" can opt for the "triple" or "double-bypass".

"It's not good for one's health but it's only a joke," John Basso, who opened the restaurant 10 months ago, told AFP.

Customers who have room for more can also order French fries "fried in pure lard" and can purchase cigarettes off the menu. As a courtesy, the restaurant offers its "best customers" a wheelchair service to their cars by waitresses dressed in slinky nurses' outfits.

The idea, however, has not gone down well with the Arizona State Board of Nursing which has expressed concern that some patrons may confuse the waitresses with real nurses.

To avoid any confusion, Basso has posted a long message on his restaurant website saying that his employees in no way are medical professionals.

He said his ultimate goal is to open a restaurant in France.

"I am dreaming of opening a restaurant in Paris," he said.

 

These are some helpful short cuts and hints, you are welcome to try them but CAVEAT EMPTOR!!!!

Short cuts........ These are great

 

1.)  Reheating Pizza:  Heat up leftover pizza in a non-stick skillet on top of the stove, set heat to med-low and heat till warm.  This keeps the crust crispy.  No soggy micro pizza.  This appeared on the cooking channel and it really works.

 

2.)  Easy Deviled Eggs:  Put cooked egg yolks in a zip lock bag.  Seal, mash till they are all broken up.  Add remainder of ingredients, reseal, keep mashing it up, mixing thoroughly.  Cut the tip of the baggy, squeeze mixture into egg.  Just throw bag away when done!  Easy clean up!

 

3.)  Expanding Frosting:  When you buy a container of cake frosting from the store, whip it with your mixer for a few minutes.  You can double it in size.  You get to frost more cake/cupcakes with the same amount.  You also eat less sugar/calories per serving.

 

4.)  Reheating refrigerated bread:  To warm biscuits, pancakes, or muffins that were refrigerated, place them in a microwave with a cup of water.  The increased moisture will keep the food moist and help it reheat faster. 

 

5.)  Newspaper keeps weeds away:  Start putting in your plants, work the nutrients in your soil.  Wet newspapers, put layers around the plants, overlapping as you go, cover with mulch and forget about weeds.  Weeds will get through some gardening plastic they will not get through wet newspapers.

 

6.)  Broken Glass:  Use a dry cotton ball to pick up little broken glass pieces of glass - the fibers catch ones you can't see!

 

7.)  No More Mosquitoes:  Place a dryer sheet in your pocket.  It will keep the mosquitoes away.

 

8.)  Squirrel Away:  To keep squirrels from eating your plants, sprinkle your plants with cayenne pepper.  The cayenne pepper doesn't hurt the plant and the squirrels won't come near it.

 

9.)  Bike owner ID:  If you purchase a new bike for your child, place child's picture inside the handle bar before placing the grips on.  If the bike is stolen and later recovered, remove the grip and there is your proof of ownership.

 

10.)  Flexible vacuum:  To get something out of a heat register or under the fridge, attach an empty paper towel roll or empty gift wrap roll to your vacuum.  It can be bent or flattened to get in narrow openings.

 

11.)  Reducing Static Cling:  Pin a small safety pin to the seam of your slip and you will not have a clingy skirt or dress.  Same thing works with slacks that cling when wearing panty hose.  Place pin in seam of slacks and -- voila -- static is gone.

 

12.)  Measuring Cups:  Before you pour sticky substances into a measuring cup, fill it with hot water.  Dump out the hot water, but don't dry the cup.  Next, add your ingredient, such as peanut butter, and watch how easily it comes right out.

 

13.)  Foggy Windshield:  Hate foggy windshields?  Buy a chalkboard eraser and keep it in the glove box of your car.  When the windows fog, rub with the eraser!  Works better than a cloth!

 

14.)  Reopening envelope:  If you seal an envelope and then realize you forgot to include something inside, just place your sealed envelope in the freezer for an hour or two.  Voila!  It unseals easily.

 

15.)  Hair Conditioner to shave legs:  Use your hair conditioner to shave your legs.  It's a lot cheaper than shaving cream and leaves your legs really smooth.  It's also a great way to use up the conditioner you bought but didn't like when you tried it in your hair...

 

16.)  Good-bye Fruit Flies:  To get rid of pesky fruit flies, take a small glass fill it 1/2" with Apple Cider Vinegar and 2 drops of dishwashing liquid, mix well.  You will find those flies drawn to the cup and gone forever! 

 

17.)  Get Rid of Ants:  Put small piles of cornmeal where you see ants.  They eat it, take it "home," & can't digest it, so it kills them.  It may take a week or so, especially if it rains, but it works & you don't have the worry about pets or small children being harmed!

 

18.)  Take baby powder to the beach to eliminate sand:  Keep a small bottle of baby powder in your beach bag.  When your ready to leave the beach sprinkle yourself and kids with the powder and the sand will slide right off your skin.

The Middle Wife (By an Anonymous 2nd grade teacher)

I've been teaching now for about fifteen years. I have two kids myself, but the best birth story I know is the one I saw in my own second-grade classroom a few years back. When I was a kid, I loved show-and-tell. So I always have a few sessions with my students. It helps them get over shyness and usually, show-and-tell is pretty tame. Kids bring in pet turtles, model airplanes, pictures of fish they catch, stuff like that. And I never, ever place any boundaries or limitations on them. If they want to lug it in to school and talk about it, they're welcomed to.

Well, one day this little girl, Erica, a very bright, very outgoing kid, takes her turn and waddles up to the front of the class with a pillow stuffed under her sweater.

She holds up a snapshot of an infant. "This is Luke, my baby brother, and I'm going to tell you about his birthday. First, Mom and Dad made him as a symbol of their love, and then Dad put a seed in my Mom's stomach, and Luke grew in there. He ate for nine months through an umbrella cord."

She's standing there with her hands on the pillow, and I'm trying not to laugh and wishing I had my camcorder with me. The kids are watching her in amazement.

"Then, about two Saturdays ago, my Mom starts saying and going, 'Oh, oh, oh, oh!' Erica puts a hand behind her back and groans.

"She walked around the house for, like an hour, 'Oh, oh, oh!'" Now this kid is doing a hysterical duck walk and groaning.

"My Dad called the middle wife. She delivers babies, but she doesn't have a sign on the car like the Domino's man. They got my Mom to lie down in bed like this." Then Erica lies down with her back against the wall.

"And then, pop! My Mom had this bag of water she kept in there in case he got thirsty, and it just blew up and spilled all over the bed, like psshhheew!" This kid has her legs spread and with her little hands are miming water flowing away. It was too much!

"Then the middle wife starts saying 'push, push,' and 'breathe, breathe..' They started counting, but never even got past ten. Then, all of a sudden, out comes my brother. He was covered in yucky stuff. They all said it was from Mom's play-center, so there must be a lot of stuff inside there."

Then Erica stood up, took a big theatrical bow and returned to her seat.

I'm sure I applauded the loudest. Ever since then, if it's show-and-tell day, I bring my camcorder, just in case another Erica comes along.

 

WARNING! NEW STD!

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of Sexually Transmitted Disease. The disease is contracted through dangerous and high-risk behavior. The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim and pronounced "gonna re-elect him." Many victims contracted it in
 2004, after having been screwed for the past four years.
 
Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed at how this destructive disease originated only a few years ago from a bush found in Texas .

Campbell's Soup Click for Cans

CAMPBELL SOUP HAS A PROMOTION FOR EACH CITY WITH A NFL FRANCHISE.  GO INTO THEIR WEB SITE AND VOTE FOR YOUR FAVORITE TEAM (mine’s the RAMS!)  FOR EACH VOTE THEY WILL DONATE A CAN OF SOUP TO A SOUP KITCHEN IN THAT NFL CITY.  St. Louis Rams are way down on the list and need our help – GET OUT THERE RAMS FANS!!!  And if you’re not a RAMS fan, you can vote your favorite team…

 

GOOD CAUSE, PASS IT ON.

 

http://www.chunky.com/clickforcans.aspx