Father's Day was this past Sunday, June 18th

I recently lost my father (late February this year) so this day was a little bit drenched in sentiment…
In 1909, A Washington State citizen, Mrs. John B Dodd, proposed the idea of Father's Day. She wanted a special date to be set to honor her dad, William Smart, A Civil War Veteran. Mr. Smart was widowed. His wife died while giving birth to their sixth child, and Mr. Smart was left to rear his six children on their rural farm, as a single parent. Mrs. Dodd did not consider Father's Day as an important time to celebrate until after she became an adult. Then she came more aware of her father's hard work and dedication. One day at church, she listened to a sermon about the importance of Mother's Day and she then thought of the job her father had done, raising six children alone. It was at this point, she decided she would like to recognize her father with a special day, as well. With the support of the Spokane, Washington Ministerial Association and the YMCA, her efforts rendered success. Father's Day debuted in Spokane on June 19, 1910. The rose was chosen as the fathers day flower, white for the deceased father and red for the father that is living. In 1924, President Coolidge supported Father's Day as a national tradition, but it wasn't until 1966 that President Johnson signed a proclamation ordering the third Sunday in June to be appointed as Father's Day.

Here's hoping all fathers had a GREAT day!

The Cat Came Back....

A man absolutely hated his wife's cat and decided to get rid of him one day by driving him 20 blocks from his home and leaving him at the park.  As he was getting home, the cat was walking up the driveway.  The next day he decided to drive the cat 40 blocks away.  He put the beast out and headed home.  Driving back up his driveway, there was the cat!

He kept taking the cat further and further and the cat would always beat him home.  At last he decided to drive a few miles away, turn right, then left, past the bridge, then right again and another right until he reached what he thought was a safe distance from his home, and left the cat there.

Hours later the man calls home to his wife, "Jen, is the cat there?"
"Yes," the wife answers, "why do you ask?"
Frustrated, the man answered, "Put that little son-of-a-bitch on the phone, I'm lost and need directions!"

Ways to maintain a healthy level of insanity at work or home...

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point your hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.
3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.
4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "IN"
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addiction, switch to espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "for smuggling diamonds".
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy"
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
10. Order a diet water whenever you go out to eat with a serious face.
11. Specify that your drive through order is "to go"
12. Sing along at the opera.
13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.
14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.
15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you are not in the mood.
16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name, Rock Bottom.
17. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I WON, I WON"
18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards the parking lot yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
19. Tell your children over dinner "due to the economy, we are going to have to let one of you go."
20. Write the letters "REDRUM" on the bathroom door in red lipstick or highlighter so that it can be spotted on the mirror over the sinks.

For you teachers or parents - Kids in school think quick....

TEACHER:  Maria, go to the map and find North America.
MARIA:  Here it is!
TEACHER:  Correct.  Now class, who discovered America?
CLASS:  Maria!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK:  Because of the sign.
TEACHER:  What sign?
FRANK:  The one that says, "School Ahead, Go Slow."
****************************************
TEACHER:  John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN:  You told me to do it without using tables!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN:  K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER:  No, that's wrong
GLENN:  Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD:  H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER:  What are you talking about?
DONALD:  Yesterday you said it's H to O!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE:  Me!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS:  Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
****************************************
TEACHER:  Millie, give me a sentence starting with "I."
MILLIE:  I is...
TEACHER:  No, Millie..... Always say, "I am."
MILLIE:  All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
****************************************
TEACHER:  Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO:  Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
****************************************
TEACHER:  George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted doing it.  Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish  him?"

LOUIS:  Because George still had the ax in his hand.
****************************************
TEACHER:  Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON:  No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook.
****************************************
TEACHER:  Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's.  Did you copy his?
CLYDE:  No, teacher, it's the same dog!
****************************************
TEACHER:  Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD:  A teacher.

Anger Management

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take
it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know. I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a
phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A
man answered, saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"
Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right freaking
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to
call her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two
digits. After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number
again.

When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and
hung up.
I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it
in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or
had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!" It
always cheered me up.

When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my therapeutic 'asshole'
calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this
is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling to see if you're
familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone. I quickly called him back
and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot.
Some guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had
patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting
for that spot, but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in
his back window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"
He said, "Yes, it is."
I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"
He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax. It's a yellow
rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."
I asked, "What's your name?"
He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"
I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"
He said, "I'm home every evening after five."
I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"
He said, "Yes?"
I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"
Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I
had a problem, I had two assholes to call.
Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole #1.
He said, "Hello."
I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)
He asked, "Are you still there?"
I said, "Yeah."
He screamed, "Stop calling me!!"
I said, "Make me."
He asked, "Who are you?"
I said, "My name is Don Hansen."
He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"
I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, a yellow
rambler, I have a black Beamer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start
saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up. Then I
called Asshole #2.
He said, "Hello?"
I said, "Hello, asshole!"
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are.."
I said, "You'll what?"
He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass."
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right
now."
Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at
34 Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax, and that I was on my way over there to kill
my gay lover. Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going
down in Oaktree Blvd. in Fairfax. I quickly got into my car and headed
over to Fairfax. I got there just in time to watch two assholes beating
the crap out of each other in front of six cop cars, an overhead news
helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better. Anger management really does work...

Man discovers python in car

Man discovers python in car
He thought it was a rubber snake
Tuesday, 05/30/06
PADUCAH, Ky. (AP) The next time Dan McBride rents a car, he plans to search it inside and out.
"I think I will probably do that for a while," said McBride, the assistant athletic director at Eastern Kentucky University.

McBride's new vigilance is the result of finding a 2-year-old ball python in his rental car last week as he left the Ohio Valley Conference baseball tournament in Paducah.

McBride got into his car Wednesday night with fellow assistant athletic director Simon Gray and saw the snake draped across the console. McBride said he thought it was a rubber snake someone put there as a joke.

McBride even gave the snake a pat and put the car into drive. Then, as McBride drove toward the exit, the snake lifted its head. McBride hit the brakes, then started to get out of the car with Gray.

There was a problem, though. The snake was on the gear shift, forcing McBride to keep his foot on the brake.
"You can't act tough when you are sitting a foot and a half away from a snake," Gray said.
Don Chappell, a captain of the Paducah-McCracken County Disaster and Emergency Services auxiliary police, realized the snake was not dangerous and used his police baton to lure the snake out. The python wrapped around the baton and was dropped in a five-gallon bucket.

Chappell plans to keep the snake until someone claims it or he finds a good home for it.
No one is sure how the snake got into the car, though. McBride said the car came from Enterprise Rent-A-Car in Richmond, which he then took on the five-hour trip to Paducah for the baseball tournament without seeing the python.

Laura Bryant, the public relations manager at Enterprise's corporate headquarters, said she was unaware of any other similar incidents.

Jason Finnie, lead pet-care specialist at PetSmart in Paducah who helped Chappell identify the snake, said the python was well taken care of. Finnie said it is unlikely someone lost the 2-foot-long snake, though.

Finnie guessed that the owner probably no longer wanted the snake and left it in the rental car in Richmond. Once there, Finnie said, the snake probably climbed into the front of the car.

It's the office mantra....

IT'S MY CUBE!
Don't just bust up in here unannounced.  Knock on the wall. 
Don't stick your head around the corner to see if I'm busy.
Announce your presence. 
Don't just jump In because you don't see a door. 

IT'S MY CUBE!
Don't walk past and ask me who are all the pretty people in my pictures that decorate my desk. 
First of all, I don't have any ugly relatives.
Second of all, I don't have any ugly friends.
Third of all, what are you doing lolly gagging around my cube long enough to look at all the pictures that I have anyway?

Don't slow your roll at my cube, speed it up.

IT'S MY CUBE!
Don't ask me where I got my plants from, my mirror from or my motivational prints from. 
That means you've been standing there too long, you better keep on walking.
In fact, why don't you walk your butt to the nearest Home Depot or Wal-Mart or Lowe's ?
You wanna see decorations?  Go to the store nearest you!

IT'S MY CUBE!
If you see me on the phone, Don't come in.
Don't sit in my vacant chair until I'm done talking on the phone.
What makes you think I want you to know all my PERSONAL business? 
I haven't summoned you. I haven't invited you to take a seat. 
I haven't asked you to laugh along with me at the jokes I tell my friends on the other line. 
We don't need to correspond in person.
That's what an in-box was created for.
You wanna talk to me?  Send me an E-mail.
You got work for me to see?  Drop it off in the In-Box OUTSIDE of my cube. 
It ain't hanging there for decoration! 

IT'S MY CUBE!
Don't listen for noises from My Cube that announce whether I'm arriving or leaving.
I Hate That! 
When I get here in the morning, I get here.
I don't need you to say "Good Morning" loud enough so that the whole department can hear.
Why do they need to know that I got here at 8:05, not 8:00 am?
And when I get ready to leave, I'm gone.
If you hear me taking my bag out of the drawer or zipping up my bag, I don't need you to say "Goodbye" loud enough so that the whole department can hear you announce my departure at 4:45 and not 5:00 pm.

I Hate That! 

IT'S MY CUBE!
Don't think because I have staples, pens and notepads, that means you can borrow some, I said NO the first time.
If I say I don't have any, don't walk by to check and see if I'm lying, Even though I am. 
I just don't want you to have it.
Do like I did, walk your butt down the hall to the big SUPPLY ROOM and get YOU some stuff.
What do I look like, Office Depot? 

Repeat after me: 
RESPECT  MY  CUBE !!!!

Did you know...foods and other stuff only found in StL

Some food found only in St. Louis

 

St. Louis Originals - most are still unique to the area

 

Toasted Ravioli - invented in 1943 or 1944 at Oldani's on The Hill by chef Terry Lane and served to (or more likely by) Martin Mickey Garagiola (Joe's brother), though others also claim the invention.

 

Gooey butter cake - legend has it that in the 1930s a German baker got the proportions wrong and the rest is history - availible at most area bakeries and grocery stores.

 

Pork Steaks - Pork butt sliced as a steak, often Bar-B-Qued - a cook at home favorite.

 

The Concrete - Ted Drewes Frozen Custard (Ice Cream) mixed with candy, fruit, and/or nuts.  A history back to 1929 with the two remaining locations here from 1931 (Grand) and 1941 (historic Route 66). When Dairy Queen couldn't buy it they came up with their very poor imitation the Blizzard.

 

Peanut Butter* - In 1890, an unknown St. Louis physician encouraged a food products company owner, George A. Bayle Jr., to process and package ground peanut paste as a nutritious protein substitute for people with poor teeth who couldn't chew meat.

 

The Slinger - Typically two eggs, hash browns, a hamburger patty all covered in chili.  Breakfast of champions.  (Shows up at one Chicago joint.)

 

Provel ™ cheese - Developed as a shelf-stable cheese often found as topping for the next entry (St. Louis style Pizza), it's name may lead some to think it is a shorthand name for provolone.  It is in fact a processed cheese of cheddar, swiss and provolone as Velveeta (or any other American cheese) is a processed cheese based on cheddar and colby cheese.  I suspect that this then is were the name comes from: Pro(volone)vel(veeta).  Not too bad on salad.

 

St. Louis style Pizza - A thin crusted pizza with Provel ™ Cheese, round and cut into squares. Started by Imo's.

 

St. Paul Sandwich - Has nothing to do with St. Paul Minnesota that I know of.  It is egg foo young, lettuce, tomato, and pickle on white bread.

 

Brain Sandwich - Exactly that.

 

A number of soft drinks by Charles Leiper Grigg (1868-????) born in Price's Branch, Missouri. Whistle™ in 1919 while working for Vess Jones.  Slogan: "Thirsty? Just Whistle" Howdy (another orange flavor) while working for Warner Jenkinson Co.

7-UP™ in 1929 originally called "Bib-Label Lithiated Lemon-Lime Sodas" at his own company "Howdy".  

 

St. Louis 1904 Worlds Fair introduction to the people who flocked there.

 

Ice Cream in a Cone - a waffle cone.

 

Hot Dog on a bun for the first time made and sized for it.  Served by Arnold Feuchtwanger.  Though the R.T. French company introduced yellow mustard the same year it's likely these were served with brown.  Though the hot dog itself (seasoned and sized as we know it today) was served in 1893 at the Colombian Exposition in Chicago and at the St. Louis Brown's ballpark.  Both the team and the ballpark were owned by Chris Von de Ahe who also owned a tavern.

 

Iced Tea - by Richard Blechynden.  It was probably served in some areas well before this.

 

Hamburg Steak as a Sandwich (Hamburger) - one recipe from this time calls for onion, whostershire, egg, salt and pepper to be mixed in.  Possibly introduced at the fair by Fletcher Davis of Athens, Texas.

 

Peanut Butter - again by C.H. Sumner.

 

Chili (also spelled Chile) - though not a new introduction, the kind served by the O. T. Hodge Chile Parlor in downtown St. Louis has now become the style expected by many canned chili eaters. An inlaw of Hodge spun off the Edmond's Chili Co. to provide this chili in canned form.

 

Soft drink Dr. Pepper™ (but created in 1885 in Waco TX)

 

Cotton candy - orignally called fairy floss.

 

 

St. Louis Favorites, but likely came from elsewere.

 

Crab Rangoon - available at most Oriental Restaurants in this area, and many others as well.  Though they don't claim it, Trader Vic's is the most common recipe found and there was at one time a Trader Vic's in St. Louis.

 

Bar-B-Que - A quiet war between St. Louis and Kansas City though of course not invented in either.

 

Ham Steak - The best with brown sugar and cloves!.

 

Famous-Barr's French Onion Soup - many recipes may be found on the web but the soup can now only be found at the downtown store.

 

Bissinger's™ chocolates - with a 17th century beginning.

Even the Twinkie has a St. Louis connection.  Jimmy Dewar, manager of the Schiller Park, IL bakery, trying to make year round use of the shortbread pans that were only used during strawberry season filled them with golden sponge cake and banana filling.  While en route to show off his new idea in St. Louis, Dewar saw a billboard for "Twinkle Toe Shoes".  The use of vanilla filling was the result of a banana shortage during World War II.

 

The first motor hotel (motel) in Missori from 1929 the "Big Chief" in Pond (now part of Wildwood) on historic Route 66. It's original restaurant building still stands.

 

 

 

* - But didn't Dr. George Washington Carver (~1864-1943) invent peanut butter?  No.  He invented a lot of uses for a lot of agricultual products and without his pushing of peanuts and others as crops to rebuild the depleted soils of the south there would not have been a supply of peanuts to make peanut butter.  He likely did invent peanut butter fudge.  But for some odd reason he is credited with inventing a lot of products he didn't.  What he may have made were ways of making them with peanuts or sweet potatoes.  Among these are margarine (1870), mayonnaise (1753), Worcestershire Sauce (1835), and vinegar (~17000 BCE)!  You should visit the George Washington Carver National Monument in southwest Missouri but take their list of inventions with a grain of salt!

(Some references are from The Food Timeline).  (BCE - Before the Common Era [same time frame as BC], ACE - After the Common Era [AD])

 

Provel is a trademark of the Churny Company, Inc., 114 Waukegan Rd, Glenview, IL (sold under the Hoffman's label). Churny is a division of Kraft Foods, Inc.

 

© 2002 George W. Baltzell

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