Know that for whom the balls tied...

A couple has a dog that snores and the woman in the relationship is annoyed because she can't sleep. The wife goes to the vet.

“This dog is keeping me up all night with his snoring”, she asks the vet, “what am I to do?”

After a sigh, he says “Tie a ribbon around the dog's testicles and the snoring will stop.”

“Yeah right!" she thinks, pays the front desk for the visit and leaves.

It’s now a few minutes after going to bed, and the dog begins snoring as usual. “What the heck!” she says, and goes to the closet, grabs a piece of red ribbon, and ties it carefully around the sleeping dog's testicles.

Sure enough, the dog stops snoring and the lady’s impressed.

Later that night, her husband staggers into the bedroom after a night drinking with the boys, flops into bed and immediately begins snoring.

Frustrated, she thinks “It worked for the dog!” so she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it around her husband's balls.

Amazingly, it also works on him; and for a change, she gets a good night’s sleep.

The next morning, her husband wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a blue ribbon attached to his privates! He is very confused, and as he walks back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's testicles.

He shakes his head, leans over to the dog and whispers, "I don't know where we were, or what we did ... but by God, boy, we took FIRST and SECOND place!”