Short but sweet humor to brighten your day

One day a woman dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call.
I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the
beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

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At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us the following:
"Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number
of take-offs you make."
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Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing
his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said,
"I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."

"No," said Little Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you
could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."

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an all time Favorite: Aspire to inspire before you expire.
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As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we
passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that,
we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my
son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't
let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."
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Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
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Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without
forgetting.
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The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your
way around, you're not going anywhere.
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I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to
find one.
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Every morning is the dawn of a new error.