Short but sweet humor to otherwise brighten your day

One day a woman dialed a number and got the following recording:
"I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. I am making some changes in my life. Please leave a message after the beep. If I do not return your call, you are one of the changes."

**********
At pilots training back in the Air Corps they taught us the following:
"Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you make."
**********

Little Tommy had been to a birthday party at a friend's house. Knowing his sweet tooth, Tommy's mother looked straight into his eyes and said, "I hope you didn't ask for a second piece of cake."

"No," said Little Tommy, "but I asked Mrs. Smith for the recipe so you could make some like it, and she gave me two more pieces without asking."

**********

an all time Favorite: Aspire to inspire before you expire.
*********

As my five year old son and I were headed to McDonald's one day, we passed a car accident. Usually when we see something terrible like that, we say a prayer for those who might be hurt, so I pointed and said to my son, "We should pray."

From the back seat I heard his earnest request: "Please, God, don't let those cars block the entrance to McDonald's."

****************
Frustration is trying to find your glasses without your glasses.
**************

Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting.

*****************
The irony of life is that, by the time you're old enough to know your way around, you're not going anywhere.

**************
I was always taught to respect my elders, but it keeps getting harder to find one.

*****************
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.