Bear with us and other stories and such...

A Priest, a Baptist preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of a major Midwestern college and would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.  One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another, and they decided to conduct an experiment:  They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it.  Seven days later, they would all get together to discuss the experience.

Father Flannery, who has his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and had various bandages, went first. "Well," he said, "I went into the woods to find a bear.  And when I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.  That bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around.  So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb.  The bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation."

Reverend Billy Bob spoke next.  He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts, and an IV drip.  In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, as you know, WE don't sprinkle!  I went out and I FOUND a bear.  And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD!   But that bear wanted nothing to do with me.  So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.  We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek.  I quick DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul.  And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb.  We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus."

They both looked down at the rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed.  He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in bad shape. The rabbi looked up and said, "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start."

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THE IRISH MEDICAL DICTIONARY
Artery......................... The study of paintings
Barium......................... What doctors do when patients die
Benign......................... What you be, after you be eight
Cauterize...................... Made  eye contact with her
Dilate......................... ...To live long
Fester...........................Quicker than someone else
Fibula.......................... . A small lie
Labor Pain.....................Getting hurt at work
Medical Staff.................. A Doctor's cane
Morbid.......................... . A higher offer
Node........................... ...I knew it
Outpatient..................... .A person who has fainted
Post Operative................ A letter carrier

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IT ALL ADDS UP

Teaching math in the US in the...:

1950’s:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price.  What is his profit?

1960’s:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is 4/5 of the price, or $80.  What is his profit?

1970’s:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80.  Did he make a profit?

1980’s:  A logger sells a truckload of lumber for $100.  His cost of production is $80 and his profit is $20.  Your assignment:  Underline the number 20.

1990’s:  A logger cuts down a beautiful forest because he is selfish and inconsiderate and cares nothing for the habitat of animals or the preservation of our woodlands.  He does this so he can make a profit of $20.  What do you think of this way of making a living?  Topic for class participation after answering the question: How did the birds and squirrels feel as the logger cut down their homes?  (There are no wrong answers.)

Teaching math in the US in the 21st Century:  Un ranchero vende una carretera de madera para $100.   El cuesto de la producción era $80. Cuantos dollares se puede comprar?

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