St Louis Metro Area Barbie Dolls

Subject: ST LOUIS/METRO AREA BARBIES

The CHESTERFIELD BARBIE
This princess Barbie is sold only at Chesterfield Mall.  She comes with an assortment of Kate Spade Handbags, a Lexus SUV, a longhaired foreign dog named Honey and a cookie cutter house.  Available with or without tummy tuck and face lift.  Workaholic Ken sold only in conjunction with
"augmented" version.

The FLORISSANT BARBIE
This modern day homemaker Barbie is available with Ford Windstar Minivan and matching gym outfit.  She has no full time occupation or secondary education. Traffic jamming cell phone sold separately.

The ST. CHARLES COUNTY BARBIE
This is an upgrade to the Florissant Barbie.  Accessories include the SUV with an extra large gas tank, mandatory bible for thumping and Republican Party Membership.

The EAST ST LOUIS BARBIE
This recently paroled Barbie comes with a 9 mm handgun, a Ray Lewis knife, a Chevy with dark tinted windows and a Meth Lab Kit. This model is
only available after dark and must be paid for in cash - preferably small, untraceable bills - unless you are a cop, then we don't know what you
are talking about.

The LADUE BARBIE
This yuppie Barbie comes with your choice of BMW convertible or Hummer H2.  Included are her own Starbucks cup, credit card and country club
membership.  Also available for this set are Shallow Ken and Private School Skipper.  You won't be able to afford any of them.

The GRANITE CITY BARBIE
This pale model comes dressed in her own Wrangler Jeans (two sizes too small), a NASCAR shirt and tweety bird tattoo on her shoulder.  She has a
six-pack of Bud light and a Hank Williams, Jr. CD set.  She can spit over 5 feet and kick mullet-haired Ken's butt when she is drunk.  Purchase her pickup truck separately and get a confederate flag bumper sticker absolutely free.

The CLAYTON BARBIE
This collagen injected, rhinoplastic Barbie wears a leopard print outfit and drinks cosmopolitans while entertaining friends. Percocet prescription
available.

The HIGH RIDGE BARBIE
This tobacco-chewing, brassy-haired Barbie has a pair of her own high-heeled sandals with one broken heel from the time she chased beer-gutted
Ken.
The ARNOLD BARBIE
Barbie's house - her ensemble includes low-rise acid washed jeans, fake fingernails, and a see through halter-top. Also available with a mobile
home.

The SOUTH COUNTY BARBIE
Not much different from High Ridge Barbie - instead of the trailer, she comes with bingo chips and a rosary. We don't know where Ken is
'cause he's always hunting.

The TOWER GROVE BARBIE
This doll is made of actual tofu.  She has long straight brown hair, archless feet, hairy armpits, no makeup and Birkenstocks with white socks.  She prefers that you call her "Willow."  She does not want or need a Ken doll, but if you purchase two Tower Grove Barbies and the optional Subaru wagon, you get a rainbow flag bumper sticker for free.

The FERGUSON BARBIE
This Barbie now comes with a stroller and infant doll.  Optional accessories include a GED and bus pass.  Gangsta Ken and his '79 Caddy were
available, but are now very difficult to find since the addition of the infant.

The CENTRAL WEST END BARBIE/KEN
This versatile doll can be easily converted from Barbie to Ken by simply adding or subtracting the multiple "snap-on" parts.