you're gonna love this one..

this is by Joe Blundo of the Columbus (OH) Dispatch

` A Visit From St . Nicholas ´

´Twas the day after Christmas, our spirits still high,

Till we read that dear Santa was a government spy,

Who at the request of G.W. Bush

Plopped down our flue on his fat little tush,

And proceeded to search with nary a warrant

For links to al-Qaida and plots most abhorrent.

And Ma in her kerchief I could not console

As she raged at the thought of Santa the mole:

``He came here as if on his regular duty

Of spreading good cheer and distributing booty;

Then he tapped all our phones without calling a judge,

And he rifled our files and scarfed up our fudge!"

Sad, I agreed, but if seeking a spook,

Santa´s a choice that´s hard to rebuke.

What spy in the world can boast better cover

Than a jolly old elf with a license to hover?

He slides down our chimneys with no interference,

A man with the highest security clearance,

And no one would think to search his attire

To see if Kriss Kringle is wearing a wire.

Well, all hell broke loose when the Times broke the news

Of Santa Claus spying while nestled kids snooze.

``Outrageous," roared Dems, ``creepy and sick -

"First Bush steals Jesus and now old St. Nick."

So they ranted and raved and demanded some hearings,

Which the White House resisted (elections were nearing).

Then Bush met the press and said:

``What´s the to-do? ``We´re protecting your liberties by taking a few.

``Need I remind that when battling terror,

``Nothing I do is ever in error."

But Santa had come to regret his patrols,

As he watched his approval rate sink in the polls,

Down, down it went until at its nadir

He fell below Goldilocks, Shrek and Darth Vader.

``The people who loved me are not happy campers.

``They´re fitting their chimneys with Santa-proof dampers.

``They´re telling Lou Harris I´ve lost their affection.

``They think my sleigh´s headed in a wrongful direction."

His White House advisers said, "Just pull a Nixon:

"Fire some elves and sack Prancer and Vixen."

But Santa decided he must take the blame

For breaking the law in security´s name.

So he said, ``I´m at fault," in a statement most bold:

``This old spy is coming in from the cold.

``I won´t bug your kitchen, your bathroom, your foyer;

``I´ll fly with a constitutional lawyer."

Then he sprang to his sled, and at once he took leave,

Not to return until next Christmas Eve.

But I heard him exclaim as yonder he flew,

``You better watch out because they´re watching you."