The horrible side to your star sign

Aries (March 21-April 19):  You're a tyrant, and that's one of your better qualities!  You don't finish anything you start.  You're so damn competitive that even if there's no competition you'll invent one in your head just so you can say "See! I won!  See how great I am?"

 

Taurus (April 20-May 20):  Your jealousy and possessiveness gets old REAL quick!  Nobody likes you because all you talk about is yourself, and you're boring.

 

Gemini (May 21-June 20):  You're a flake and you're two-faced.  You think the world owes you, and because of this attitude you'll be in debt the rest of your life.  You have no intention of growing up. 

 

Cancer (June 21-July 22):  You're a moody little bitch -- and that goes especially for the men!  You can't give a straightforward answer.  Stop your crying, you big baby!  Nobody cares!

 

Leo (July 23-August 22):  You're lazy and you expect everything to be handed to you on a silver platter.  You're always bitching about something.  You need to be knocked off the pedestal you put yourself on and realize the world does NOT revolve around you!

 

Virgo (August 23-September 22):  You need to quit picking apart other people's flaws and worry about your own.  After all, nobody asked you!  You put the "anal" in "analytical."  You're prude and prissy and you need to stop being so damn anal retentive!

 

Libra (September 23-October 22):  You're an airhead when it comes to money.  You can't make a decision and actually stick to it to save your life!  You are gullible and naive and don't learn from your mistakes.  You don't care about anything and you flirt too much.

 

Scorpio (October 23-November 21):  All you do is brood and lead a life of havoc.  You like to choose friends with low self-esteem that have more problems than you do.  It makes you feel powerful.  So do your "strings attached" favors.  You're too secretive and demanding -- and it pisses everyone off!

 

Sagittarius (November 22-December 21):  All you do is drink and gamble.  You have to rely on your luck because you have no skills.  Like Aries, you don't finish anything you start.  You can't commit to save your life!  You suck.

 

Capricorn (December 22-January 19):  Why don't you stop trying to manage everyone else's life and worry about your own!  Your need to control and meddle in other people's lives makes you very unpopular.

 

Aquarius (January 20-February 18):  You're so busy being busy that you don't do anything effectively, and your absent-mindedness doesn't help.  Jack of all trades, Master of none.  Why don't you go buy yourself some feelings you tactless robot!

 

Pisces (February 19-March 20):  How about some cheese with that whine!  You're a martyr in your own delusional world.  That could change if you only had an ounce of ambition!  You're probably already crying because you're too damn sensitive.