Certain smiley thoughts...

- Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can't even get into my own pants.
- Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.
- I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it. So I said, "Implants?" She hit me.
- How come we choose from just two people to run for president and over fifty for Miss America ?
- A good friend will come and bail you out of jail...but, a true friend will be sitting next to you saying, "Wow...that was fun!"